I I am new to this and don’t no if im doing it proper

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    • #7456
      weegem
      Participant

      I am a mum of a son who has an addiction don’t no how to help him with this or what to believe any more

    • #28677
      lindyloo
      Participant

      Hi weegem, welcome to the forum. Nearly everyone here has a loved one with addiction and some people in recovery offering support and advice.

      My son is 29 and has been battling alcohol and cocaine addictions for 10+ years. I know how difficult it must be for you.

      Nothing is your fault, although they will blame you for all of their problems. They become aggressive and nasty to all around them.

      Until he wants help and support, you cannot force him to stop.

      You have to look after yourself, tell someone close, share here or get more information from Drugfam, or Icarus Trust.

      Always here to chat, also, if you scroll back a bit, there’s a thread called Theresa. There’s several of us mums with sons with addictions and they are so supportive and kind.

      Take care weegem, ❤️

      Lx

      • #28680
        weegem
        Participant

        Thank you for your reply L I sometimes feel I am on my own I cant see the link thereasa you mentioned I just don’t no wat to do for the best and how to help x

        • #28689
          lindyloo
          Participant

          I’ll get it updated so you can read the thread. It’s quite a long thread, but you’ll see you’re not alone.

          You just click back to Share your Story above in the blue.

          Lx

      • #28683
        danman83
        Participant

        Hey lindy hope your doing well. Hows your son doing? Hope he’s doing well still.

        • #28688
          lindyloo
          Participant

          Hi Dan, son is doing well, almost a year clean now!

          So pleased for you too Dan, 5 months…that’s brilliant. ????

          Everyone here is so pleased to have your support and advice.

          Sending virtual hugs

          Lx

          • #28732
            danman83
            Participant

            Bloody hell a year clean! It’s mad how much things change after a year. I must of been on here a few year now and remember you sharing about him struggling at the beginning.

            I bet your so proud of him.im happy for you both. Really am.

            He should take u out for a nice meal to celebrate and water haha x

            • #28739
              lindyloo
              Participant

              Hi Dan, yep a year soon! So proud of him but relieved too.

              It was grinding us down as a family. He still has moments of stress and anxiety but he getting better at pushing through it. Keeping busy and hobbies (like you say) definitely helps too.

              So pleased for you too.

              Lol liked the pun- he enjoys a different kind of Coke now instead!

              Keep doin what you’re doin ????

              Lx ❤️

              • #28787
                danman83
                Participant

                That’s good to hear. I guess we’re all have are bad days. Does he do zoom meetings aswell?

              • #28791
                lindyloo
                Participant

                Yeah, he still goes to his meetings regularly too, keeps in touch with the fellowship guys.

                I think years of abuse has had an effect on his mental health. His coping strategies are better, thanks to stuff he’s learned from the Big Book.

                He’s looking great though, and much healthier thankfully. All the hard work and effort is paying off – the CA groups are a Godsend.

                He’d love to have a lady in his life but that’ll happen in It’s own time!

                Hope all is well with you Dan – so pleased for you too ????

                Lx ❤️

    • #28678
      weegem
      Participant

      Thank you ye he is on cocaine and trying to get of it but gets on it again n gets into debt so much its killing me x

      • #28679
        danman83
        Participant

        Hiya wee gem hope your OK. I’m 5 month and a week clean from cocaine now. I’ve got my best clean time in 12 years of using. I joined cocaine anonymous, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. But he has to want to quit for himself, basically hit his rock bottom and he is ready to quit, na she’s had enough. You can never force him as it won’t work.

        Has he looked into this? There are meetings in every area face to face and on zoom online.

        Also he needs to delete all mates and family’s, dealers numbers to do with coke.or get a new aim card.

        He needs to come off social media if possible. Also set some goals, no alcohol as well, do some new hobbies, eat healthy, try the gym or walks. It’s about changing his routine a round and implementing good things in his life.

        Feel free to ask me anything

        • #28681
          weegem
          Participant

          Hi ye I want him clean to but don’t no wat to do he attends meetings but not sticking ti it he hit rock bottom lost his job dissapears thats wen I no hes not good specially his mental health how do I help he keeps asking me for money

        • #28685
          weegem
          Participant

          He has stopped group meeting but has care worker meeting want him to try sport to keep mind busy

        • #28725
          weegem
          Participant

          How did u mange to get off it

          • #28731
            lindyloo
            Participant

            Hi weegem,

            If you click back to page 1 on this thread, Danman83 has listed the things he has done to get clean.

            You get used to scrolling back and forward to read the pages- my so is almost a year clean now. He did the same as Danman83. So it definitely worth a try weegem.

            Sending hugs ❤️

            Lindyloo xx

    • #28682
      danman83
      Participant

      Well it’s good he’s doing meetings., but he isn’t sticking to them. Me personally I wouldn’t give him another penny. Probably needs tough love now. But that’s up to you. Does he live with you?

    • #28687
      weegem
      Participant

      He stays with me this page keeps cutting off

    • #28708
      weegem
      Participant

      Hi I want to get him into a health place but he won’t go can I do this without him

      • #28733
        danman83
        Participant

        You can’t force him to go to a health place. He needs to do it for himself. I got off it by joining cocaine anonymous and I do meetings in my area in Manchester, and on zoom. If you tell me what area you are from I’ll find out the days and times and we’re they are on near u and put it on here. Then he needs to bet a sponsor and work the 12 steps. It’s worth having a little read on Google. If u have never heard of C. A and the 12 steps. But I promise you this. If your son really wants to.stop.. This programme will help him.

    • #28741
      shell98
      Participant

      I feel for you but least you know my boyfriend hides his addiction from his mum, I can’t tell her because he tells me we are over if I do she kicked his dad out for the same thing

    • #28747
      weegem
      Participant

      Hi ye I notice when he is doing this it is so hard hope you get threw this also it is not nice to see happen to the ones that you love x

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