[l97]

I’m not sure what I’m asking of people on this forum, but any advice on how to deal with it would be welcome.

My Dad (49) has been a heavy drinker for as long as I can remember, I am 24.

He has moved around a lot to different places and there has been times where there’s been little or no contact between us at all and at least a year or two not seeing each other. He also has depression and anxiety and is on a high dose of medication for this.

I believe his alcohol addiction got a lot worse around 3/4 years ago. It turned into a litre of neat vodka a day, sometimes even two litres. This came to light when he had a court case for drink driving and I attended with him. His wife at the time didn’t keep me in the loop of how bad things had got for him. Something I now resent her for (not sure if thats selfish of me)

He is now back local and I’m probably the one person left who will attempt to help him. My Nan (his Mum) has an approach to it that I can’t begin to comprehend. She see’s it as ‘he should be left alone, then he’ll have to get himself out the gutter’ she also said to me ‘its a good job you’re helping him because nobody else would’ which made me feel quite alone (I know I’m not)

I have an amazing and supportive partner and my Mum is always on hand to help me help him too, but in terms of physical help I am the one there whenever he needs me.

So, for about 5 months he’s admitted to himself and to me that he knows he has a problem and it’s getting worse, but this is where it gets so sad for me. He lives with a charity (supported, but not enough support if you ask me) and attends alcohol support 1 to 1 with a key worker at an addiction centre. He has been offered rehab but he has to attend group meetings once a week for four months to prove commitment and this puts him off.

I have been looking at other rehabs (unfortunately I cannot afford private) and there are other ways. As it stands at the minute I have been talking to him about rehab, he says he is willing to go and the next day he changes his mind (this happens quite alot in one week)

He also has foot drop which can be caused by alcohol dependency. He tells me last time they checked his liver it was functioning at 100%, I’m unsure if this is true.

He gets quite fixated on things that simply dont matter and its so hard to change the conversation sometimes.

As it stands, he has agreed to see a doctor next week to get some help and I said I will go with him, I fear this will change and that saddens me but of course, I expect it.

I’m the only direct family member that’s going to support him and try to get him the help he needs but I fear he won’t stop and he simply can’t stop.

It’s a lot for me to take on and what if I can’t do it alone? I need to ask for help from somewhere and I don’t know where to turn. I have so many questions.

At what point do I give up and realise he’s not going to stop? Do I keep trying to get him to rehab which will be hard and his final chance at stopping? Am I even doing the right thing?

I don’t know how to deal with it or whether I’m doing it correctly.

There’s only so much I can do but I think I’m a little too late.

I want him to be around to meet his Grandchildren and at my wedding and most importantly, I just want my Dad back happy and healthy!

I hope this makes sense, I feel I have rushed everything I have wrote.

Any advice is welcome

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