[sad-and-lonely]

For many years now I have been living with an alcoholic. My husband has battled with drink for so long now I can’t remember when it actually started. He has been in re-hab once, this completely wiped out our savings because I had no option than to pay for this privately. We’ve been to the doctor but there doesn’t seem to be any help available. We just go around in circles…a few good days, then a few bad days, then the apology and the promise and so it starts over.

I don’t think he will ever change, and I am very sad and very lonely. I keep my family at arms length and I’ve lost touch with close friends and I pretend to the world that everything is OK. How do I find the strength to leave him? When he is sober life has hope, when he is drunk I hate him, despise him for what he has done and what he continues to do. And I’ve lost all respect for him.

Right now I am in the spare room, my husband is next door, in a drunken sleep, calling out, shouting out. I can’t sleep, feel so very stressed. If I ask him to leave he really has no where to go. It’s complicated, this is a second marriage for both of us and my husband re-located to be with me. If I ask him to leave he could quite possibly end up on the streets….how could I live with that?

The situation is hopeless, there is just not an easy answer and I have no one to talk to, hence this post.

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