[lillylovesr]

I never thought after my ex husband I could love again I was in an abusive marriage he was a drug and alcohol abuser. He left me and my daughter pregnant and hungry so many times . I have been ill for over 10 years I have had surprisingly I’m actually listing this I think 57 surgeries now and I’m still alive and kicking I met an amazing partner I suffer with epilepsy and he has helped me with that but he drinks and has stopped the spirits and drugs but the wine he binges on and becomes someone who he isn’t and doesn’t realise the stress of that makes me ill and then I can’t believe what he is saying half the time because don’t get me wrong he’s the strongest amazing man I know it’s not his fault he became addicted he was forced as an 8 year old child he has the roughest life I’ve seen but he’s the most handsome soul in my eyes. The way he talks and treats me is with respect he knows I want to get married he knows I want to live with him he knows out of all the partners he’s had I know when he’s going to drink without him even knowing but I feel I’m going to have a breakdown I’m really don’t know how to make him stop I’ve tried ignoring it I’ve tried saying no nicely I’ve tried being firmer he tells me to stop him from drinking but he doesn’t listen I’m a single mum he’s meant to become her father and right now I don’t know what to do …. I will never leave him but he doesn’t even live with me I live with my parents and pay rent and he lives with his mum he says when he lives with me he knows he can’t drink because I will catch him. Out but what should I do?????!!!!! He’s tried to seek help he’s on anti depressants but he won’t go to turning point I love him so much but it’s breaking my heart him not being awake being out all night he’s 32 years old I keep telling him if you want a family how’s the times to do it …… like he says he will marry me but if that the drink talking? There’s no doubt Ricky loves me he doesn’t 100% for the way he cares about me he’s different to my ex EVERYTHING IS PERFECT it’s just the drinking …. makes him angry insult me puts me down and breaks my heart when he does….. but he always says sorry and he won’t doing again

Anyway hi I’m Lilly

My daughters 3 to be 4 bless her and has no dad but my new partner speaks to her but hasn’t even sobered up to meet her yet… that hurts too but I can’t tell him that

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