[moo]

I found out 18 months ago my partner was on coke. I tried to help him and hide money the normal kind of stuff but nothing worked. Since January he has been going to CA but only in the last 60 days has he been clean, and I so proud.

However he thinks everyone should praise him and act as if the last however long hasn’t happened. I’m trying to adjust to the new man he’s becoming and it’s not easy. We are rowing every day, and he throws back in my face I’m not supporting him and want him to fail. That’s the last thing I want.

But what he fails to understand is he’s been a b****rd towards me for so long I’m finding it hard.

How can I over come the way he’s made me feel and continuing to make me feel when I’m trying just as much as he is to adjust?

[danman83]

This sounds simular to me.. im doing my best to quit coke. Ive not had it in 3 week. Im lapsing roughly once a month give or take. I hate the stuff.

But going back to what your bf says… my gf dont really support me.. and sometimes i think she wants me to fail. I ask her take my phone off me every friday so i dont get that. And she never does.. i say ive not had it for a month now.. and she just smiles.. nothing ever your doing well..

But ive never really give her shit.. and if i have its a bit of both if you get me..sometimes she just knows im going to fail because she thinks i will. No support really. But ive accepted that.

Just try and not row and remain calm.. if he starts the rows.. say ill talk to you when you calm down.. and do not raise you voice. Sometimes the coke makes us start arguments in our head.. so its an excuse to get coke.. its the chemicals in your brain wanting cocaine and it manipulates you.

But i also wouldnt be telling him every day your doing well. Once a week.. is enough.

But also help like… he cant have alcohol.. or just keep tabs on him.. but this is all up to you. And just my opinion lol feel free to ask me anything

[retroheadz]

Morning you two,

It is really difficult for both sides of an addiction and without support you tend to go around in circles beating each other up. The none addict of the relationship tends to feel the innocent party in this hell and they feel as much pressure as the person trying to quit this evil. Cocaine is sadly that kind of drug that is very destructive to the user and the people around you. But, it is beatable so don’t STOP. This sounds really daft and lame but I have seen this work with the most aggressive cases so try anything ????????‍♂️ Both you and your partner wright down how you feel and what you want to happen and don’t hold back at all but be optimistic and emotional in your feelings then swap. When someone that is not taking coke try’s to live with some that is you find it hard to function because your not feeling the same kind of emotions, and the user is feeling completely under the control of an addiction and unfortunately they don’t think clearly at all. If you want your relationship to work you need to set out a schedule for quitting and commit to it “with support” if you don’t then you will go around in circles for years! I know this is easy to say and hard to do but sit down together and commit to quitting. Get as much support from your local groups and family but don’t let it drag on for years because if you do then your not ready to quit. Your addiction is to the pleasure so try your best and good luck.

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