[betsyhaggis]

Sorry this is going to be a long old story!!

I’m looking for advice even though I know the answers myself but feel so terrified by what the truth will reveal not just to me but the wider family.

I met my husband 15 years ago and we were both good time people lived going out and enjoying a night out. We married and have two lovely children now and two years ago after years of being unhappy due to money (the lack of) and me feeling completely lonely as my husband would spend all of his time in the garage drinking and I’m guessing taking cocaine I had had enough. I felt relieved obviously upset as he was mortified ( I have to add he would go on benders while the children were small and often wouldn’t come home I never questioned anything I was just focussing in being a mummy)

We got back together as he was so upset and his family just could t understand why I had left. I get that though he’s their boy. Whilst we were separated we had a drink together as he was inconsolable I went into the garden and when I came back in I caught him snorting cocaine. I said that if I ever caught him doing it again that would be it.

A year went by and we seemed to be happy but then work pressures meant he was staying up late and drinking a lot. Much has gone on for both of us I The last year bit to summarise I’ve found texts with postcodes his nose is constantly running and bleeding money cash is going out of our account and friends are suggesting he does take it on a regular basis. I have confronted him and he has denied it and I just don’t know what to do???

Any help/advice on how to tackle the denial and lies would be really appreciated

[mrsfaz]

Hi ya . Firstly I’d like to say how hard this must be for you . Your husband is in denial. You are no longer turning a blind eye . Well done you . My husband is an addict so I understand the emotional ties .

Maybe the best way is to tell him straight . Tell him you and everyone else knows what he is . Explain to him the ramifications from a health point of you . Do not forget to tell him you love him . The reason he hides his use is .. if he was proud he would do it openly .

Tell his family . You are enabling him to continue whilst keeping this big secret . Explain to them succinctly if they want to help you would welcome any support .

Leave leaflets on cocain use , it’s affects and helpline numbers in his secret place .

I wish I had this support my in-laws live in the Middle East . I am on my own .,

You have it pretty much sewn up . Your a smart cookie . You can do this .

Take care

[betsyhaggis]

Thank you. Not feeling that strong. Awful anxiety in approaching this as he denies it. It’s a terrible cycle I feel I’m stuck in and have no control. ????

[desperate]

Betsyhaggis I feel for you. I know the fear and anxiety approach. The lies the denial. Do you feel the hate and say awful things then the regret and guilt of saying horrible things. It’s never ending. I guess I am approaching it in the wrong way. I have tried the right way and that did not work. If you find an answer which there probably isn’t let me know please. All I can say is your a brave strong woman to still be there. Bless you

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