[redfox20]

Hi there hope you’re okay. Personally he sounds like he’s addicted but in serious denial. If you have issued serious ultimatums and he’s still stayed out that’s a red flag as addicts will choose the drug over their family partners children jobs everything, it comes out on top and they can only stop if they want to you cannot force them. They also don’t have to use every day to be an addict if they can’t or won’t stop they are addicted, it’s out of their control. He sounds like he isn’t able to as he uses all night long and binging like that tends to lead into being dependent on it. My ex started out the same way now we’re not together me leaving with the kids wasn’t enough he’s still using. Our newborn daughter after two boys wasn’t enough. I would sit him down tell him how you feel and to prove he can stop if he makes excuses to go out doesn’t come home or goes and gets on it without asking you then he’s got a problem. Hope this helps I like you asked this question over a year ago i am much further in now I wish I could say it gets easier but protect yourself have boundaries and don’t enable him. Hope you’re okay xx

[res19]

Hey,

Wanted to reach out as I have been in the same position. My ex of 5 years was a cocaine addict (it didn’t become apparent until around 2 years). He would constantly lie to me about taking it, even when I found evidence.

I would often tell him I would leave him, sometimes I would but within a few days of him saying he will change, I would take it back.

It got to the point where I was miserable, he would leave me on nights out to go pick it up, always had to be the last one standing at parties or on nights out, so I would often end up going home alone. I would beg, plead and insist he get some help, sometimes he would say he would and other times he would argue that he didn’t need to get help as “he didn’t have a problem”.

Around 2 months ago he was out and didn’t come home until 7am and I knew it was because he was on a coke binge. This was the straw that broke the camels back for me and the next day I asked him to move out. He agreed and left, I don’t think he will ever change, as now he can do the drugs without consequences but the relief when you finally let the person go is worth it.

I leant that no matter how much you love a person or give them support or everything you have, it will never be enough if they have an addiction. They have to want to change for themselves.

I would advise leaving him and going on to live a life you owe to yourself, it will be hard and you may have moments where you miss him. However it’s worse to stay and see someone self destruct before your eyes and choose the drugs over you time and time again. Be strong, get support around you and find someone who appreciates you and doesn’t need drugs to enjoy life.

Good luck xx

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