[danman83]

Hiya Sarah. I’ve got a coke habit, 40 days clean today, I hate the stuff BTW and I’m doing everything to stop. I’m on meetings now, as this was my last straw.

Anyways, I think you need to confront him and tell him it’s positive. Or he is just gonna think he’s got away with it and use and use. He will lie and minipulate you with excuses of were he is going and why. I know its heart breaking for partners like yourself.

What do you want to do? Do you want to stay with him? If he is not willing to stop or put the effort in then move on yourself and think of just you. Feel free to ask me anything.

[seekingsarah]

Hey Dan! Thanks for your reply. And congrats on your 40 dats! Keep it up! I do want to be with him…more than anything. But how many times am I gonna have to go through broken promises ya know? And Im not just talking Im sorry it won’t happen again this is it this time, Im talking what seems like full honest sincere from the bottom of the heart apologies. They seem so genuine and real. They mean so much. Only for a lot of the times him not even stay clean for 48 hours after “pouring” his heart out. Like it was all just BS. That’s what hurts the most. For the longest I would tell myself despite everything…he can’t help it…but he truly loves me….now…im starting to wonder…

[danman83]

The thing is he probably really does mean it when he says he wants to stop when he’s not on it. When coming down off cocaine you get suicidal thought and bad depression for days. It’s to do with dopamine in our brains. So he really probably does mean it when he wants to stop.

But I never really believed this, but it is a disease and its like a devil on your shoulder when you don’t want to use.

I’ve been down stairs on my own at 6am crying my eyes out, when it’s all gone depressed and suicidal texting my mum admitting it to her for the 1st time asking for help.

It broke her really. I guess he needs a good support network and get to some meetings. I’ve got a sponsor now and he’s helped me so much and has talked me out of a few bad days.

[seekingsarah]

Wow…I can relate to that whole heartedly. I’ve been in that kitchen…6am…crying…calling mom…

I’ve fought with this as well….a disease…the times that he did stop cold turkey…nothing…for months…how could he do that but than go back to everyday. Is it just a choice? Is he just living a life he wants to live?

There has been so many moments that he has been high and yelling about needing a support system but he will never go to meetings or rehab it will only make him want to use more. That it’s me who needs to be stronger…help him. So what do I do? Next time he comes home high and admits it. I hug him tell him I love him whatever he needs I will do…i say all the right things…but within hours if not less the depression starts that you speak of. He starts bad mouthing himself and then me. Attacking me for the most recent thing I’ve done wrong sometimes that being as little as not getting a plate clean. It’s truly scary.

When he gets off work I’m going to bring up the drug test. I’m hoping for the best….we shall see. Thank you so much. It’s been nice to talk to you…truly…

[danman83]

I guess only your husband will know if he is living the life he wants to. But I do know one thing, that most addicts who admit they have a problem, don’t want to live this life and hate it, and we try are best to stop. I’ve been doing it 11 years and it’s mostly at weekends, quite a few times it was only once every few week. But I always said I’d never do meetings or rehab because of work. But I joined CA in Dec. So I guess it’s how bad you want it aswell. You really do need a good support network. Pocket rehab is a good app tell him. It’s like a facebook home page with all addicts talking to each other and can ask for help. It’s very useful.

He sounds like my gf screaming at me for a plate. Just remember none of this is your fault, you can say all you want to him but when that downer kicks in he will just be feeling awful and depressed. Just leave him be. But that’s up to. I tell my gf stop reminding me what I’ve done and I’ve messed up again. I don’t want her to make me feel worse, if that makes sense.

There was a doctor on my meeting last night who use be on it for 3 days on end. It effects everyone. I always say is that we’re just stuck in a big rut and need get new hobbies and things to do to keep us busy, mentally and physically.

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