[blom]

Hi, I really don’t know what to do. I really need advise.

My boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year. We were together for a few months when i found out i was pregnant. He had a history of drug use before we started dating, but he was 2 years sober. When i was about 3 months pregnant his behavior started changing and he started lying to me about everything. I was a student at that time and my parents paid for everything so i didnt realize that our money started disappearing. When i told my parents about the pregnancy they cut me off and we had to get a new apartment and i was financially dependant on him. A few weeks passed and we barely had any food to eat, no electricity and we had to move out. He told me it was his boss who held back his money and started spinning stories. I went to his sister during the day and showered and ate there. He didnt care about me. He treated me so bad. He locked me inside the flat and stole my car because i told him there wasnt enough petrol to drive him to work and for me to go to the doctor so he had to walk. He never got physical but he menatally abused me. When i asked him about his behavior he always said it was all in my head and that it was my fault that he treated me that way and i started to believe him.

I grew up in a very good neighborhood, so i didnt even know what drugs were or what the signs of abuse were. I started complaining to his sister and she eventually told me that he was on drugs and that they knew all the time but tried to get him to stop without me knowing. When i went home that night and confronted him he flat out denied it and told me im not allowed to go to his family ever again. He also “didnt get paid” so i went to his sister. Her husband went over to my flat to confront him. He then admitted to him that he had a problem. They removed all the drugs from my flat. There was so much drugs that he could have been dealing. He still didnt admit it when i asked about it. I packed my stuff and decided to leave him. Only then did he admit it.

I told him he can get one last chance if he left everything behind and break all contact with his friends who use and he agreed.

Whe moved in with my parents in another city because i found out that his other sister and his boss supply him with drugs. Everything went fine and we were doing so good. We left there when i was about 5 months pregnant.

I had the baby about 6 weeks ago. Thats when everything went downhill. He started getting moody again and he keeps on withdrawing money from his account. And our agreement was that he only swipe. Because i have trust issues with him after everything. And he is starting to eat less again. There was a huge withdrawal a few weeks back and he told me it wasn’t him his card must be cloned. So we went and got him a new card. But money still goes missing. He tells me its for food and siggarettes. And then i ask him why he doesnt swipe his card for the food and he says that he is afraid of his card being cloned again. And its like he has no interest in our daugher anymore. He just sleeps the whole time when he is home or he is on his phone. And i found messages on his phone from his old dealer friends. When i asked about it he told me they initiated contact and he doesn’t want to talk to them. But on his call log it shows him calling them first. I confronted him tonight about everything and he just blew me off and told me he is clean and got into my car and sped of.

I dont know what to do anymore. I really want to believe that he is clean but everything tells me he is not. I have trust issues. Every time i asked him about it he lied right to my face so how do i know if he is telling the truth now? Or am i just over reacting?

I told him during the pregnancy that if he ever used again he would never see me or our daughter again because i will not raise a child in those circumstances. And i cant help but think that that made him scared of admitting the truth to me.

[sunnyskies]

Hi Blom

Every story I read here I can see parts of my own life.

I knew nothing about drugs until a few years ago … now I feel like an expert. Having lived with it, I can also see the effects all around me. God, I must have been so naive.

The hardest thing to deal with is the lies, deceit and broken promises.

I try not to make threats I will not carry out. If I did, then it will have to impact. I am reaching the end of the line this time so it’s going to be a make or break over next few weeks.

Stay strong x

[daisy12]

I’m sorry to hear your having a tough time. I guess only you can make that choice. But if he’s doing it then he’s like to completely stay free of it as most stories I read I’m looking for answers and seems they’ve got to want to you can’t make them.

Stay strong think about you and your baby x

[Author]

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