[norm464]

I was always very bubbling and always lit up a room. I was an early riser and always on the go. I am 52 now and 9 years ago started taking cocaine recreationally and somehow with dealing with teenagers and a husband ( I do not love) I started to cope with life by doing cocaine and it has now got out of hand. If I am not doing cocaine, i just want to go to bed and not speak to anyone. Taking cocaine gives me energy and confidence. I am still coping with work and been able to hide it from all my friends and family. But I am not the same person I was. I do not keep my house clean or do proper meals. I am not my self when I am out, I get Pernod to speak to certain people. I think the final straw was my husband picked up on that I have no money, but do not contribute to household bills. He asked what I spent it on and I had to say. He reckons I have spent £20 000. Which was a huge eye opener. Now my husband does not drink and never even tried a cigarette. It is hard to talk to him or get his help because he really does not understand. I do not want to go to friends because something always gets out and I would be devastated if my children knew. The only real option I have found is a rehab centre, which is very expensive and I cannot disappear for a month. Just looking for advice

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