[georgia-woods]

Hi everyone. I just recently found this forum. So my boyfriend has what I would say a cocaine addiction… before I got with him and we got together I was bad on cocaine too wouldn’t listen to anyone and would have it everyday, I used a lot with my ex too and he was abusive which also topped me over the edge to use more. Not long ago I found out I was pregnant, I decided to keep the baby I’m having a little girl ❤️I knew this was my light and a reason to live and change my unhealthy lifestyle I knew I had been blessed. I thought this could be a blessing for not just me for us both to help us both and a distraction for us both I was also bad self harming before my pregnancy so a reason to be here and my purpose but a lot has happened since I found out I was pregnant my partners dad died and he’s got worse and worse he’s sniffed it every single day throughout my pregnancy. Not come home, then when I’ve been waking up for work hed be sat up awake. He goes through all my things but when he’s sober and not on the coke he’s so different. I tried to put my foot down and say if he wants to have it it has to be else where not near me anymore but now I’ve not been seeing him at all and he says he misses me and loves me but he still won’t drop the drugs for me I know how hard it is in his position as I’ve been there before but I’m literally watching him destroy himself trying to do wel for myself prepare for a baby and worry about him. It’s absolutely draining, I’m crying every day not feeling good enough, I have no mates that bother with me as I used to always just chill with him and his mates but now I’m not taking that I don’t want to sit there with his mates. I just want to be happy and wish I could help him. I really don’t know what to do I’m so fed up, I just want my little girl to be here already ????

[danman83]

Hiya Georgia hope your OK. Try not to stress too much with being pregnant. We both no it’s not good for you or the baby. Think of your own health and baby’s for now. I’m the same as your partner, I’m 4 week clean today. I’ve joined C A. I never thought I would. I tried stopping for my kids, ect… It never works. He has to want to quit for himself. My life is hell on that stuff. I feel so more connected with my kids, I mean I was anyway, but I feel so much happier with out it. But it’s only been 4 week. I just hope I never have it again. It sends you suicidal and depressed for days after using.

Hope your OK.

[georgia-woods]

I know thankyou I was in the same situation so I do know where he was coming from. It’s just I wanted us to work at a team of staying clean and it’s like I’ve done it and he’s still going down that wrong path he says he needs help and admits he’s got an addiction he wants to help himself but it’s like he can’t. All his friends also use and his brothers so its a big influence for him meaning if he was to stay off drugs he’d have to stay in and I don’t know if he’s willing to do that. I really wish things was different I know I shouldn’t stress but it’s so hard and it’s really getting on the low side of me

[danman83]

I no it hard but he needs delete his brothers num aswell. I deleted all my cousins who use, I deleted my fb and insta aswell. My biggest problem with quitting, is seeing my gf go out all done up and me staying in soba, I can’t drink ever again as it leads to coke, the thought of not going out again is frightening. Its like their is no other life than drinking! Well it’s bullshit, I can’t say out yet. But I watch a load of podcast about people telling their recovery stories, people in the meetings telling their stories. Each and every one of them say they feel so much better, so much to do! Mentally fit. No hangovers no downer for days. A lot have come out really successful. It stops us doing things. My kids get everything, clothes, toys, I play with them. But these last 4 weeks of quitting and joining CA I’m doing more with them and playing more made up games. Im more emotionally attached to them if that makes sense. Apart of me feels guilty because of that shit I’ve been putting up my nose. I really hope I dnt go back. So I pray now and meditate. Sounds sad but I don’t want it anymore. It ruins family’s.

Just keep reminded him it’s better without and life gets better. ????????

[retroheadz]

How exciting! You sound like your looking forward to it and so you should because it’s the best feeling in the world and yes it’s better than any drug I’ve had. The pleasure and pain of seeing that little face looking at you moments after birth ???? so I’m not sure you can change him as he need professional help and the only thing you need to concentrate on is staying healthy and stress free. If he’s not going to do that then don’t try changing him because you won’t! You know what it’s like and it’s a horrible drug and needs no explanation of his addiction. It would be great to get a new circle of friends especially baby related and when that little girl comes along you try to go to every single baby related class you can because as a stay at home dad who has recovered from various addiction I found new friends in new circle and you would be amazing how it helps. Swimming with my baby was magical. So focus on you and your baby at the moment and stay safe. If he won’t change then you do what you need to do to protect that treasure.

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