[stephie86]

This is what my partner (now ex) told me at the time, thank god I had done my own research over time to understand I have no control or influence over her choices….but wow it still cut deep. As much as everyone and everything tells you to not take it personally it cuts like a knife. I’ve had to let her go, it scares me as I love her so much, but my mental health cannot take anymore of wondering every time if she is going to use and her then projecting onto me that “I’m insane” for not believing her, for it then to come out I had every right to not believe her. I’m looking forward to not feeling the way I was, but it’s so painful to go through the process of leaving them.

Anyone have any good tips to stay on track in feeling I’ve done the right thing and stay away??

[paul0572]

I’ve done the same today , but I’ve also seen inappropriate texts from her drug dealer , she says nothing is going on but I can’t trust her at all anymore and we were never like that !

[2far]

I’ve also had to let my ex go. Unfortunately he brought me to a breaking point where I lashed out about everything deceitful manipulative horrible thing he’s done to me. I just couldn’t take it anymore. The blame the guilt the overwhelming responsibility and fear and anxiety that his addictions have caused, regardless of the love help and support there was no change in sight. He’s 33 and suffers from physical ailments every day for him that’s just another reason to use and at this point I don’t even know what he’s using besides alcohol. But 4 weeks of work and rent not paid phone not paid I only see a bottom here again. He’s been homeless before and that didn’t make a difference. I guess I have just given up the same way he has. My own mental health was deteriorating and no one is worth that.

[paul0572]

I was with my partner for 10 years . She had mental health break down 3 years ago and 2 year ago got addicted to coke , the lies the manipulation and now possibly the cheating

[stephie86]

What ways have you ex’s manipulated you both?

I’m so sorry you are bother going through what you are, it’s so painful

[paul0572]

My partner lied about her addiction when I would find the bags lying round or coke In our bed , finally got her to admit everything then she made me hold onto this information for 18 months as if I told her family it would make her worse . She was taking 3 to 5 grams per week , I would sit with her and hold her and make her feel safe when she was on it …didn’t see any end in sight so I told her family as it was destroying me . Then she turned her whole family against me saying it was our relationship what was the problem , even tho we got engaged a few months before she started doing it. Then she started to hide it again from me , I could catch her picking up and never having any money to buy food or pay bills . Now the last week I’ve seen texts from her drug dealer who wants to be with her etc….she says she doesn’t which I kind of believe as she would just be with him now as we are over and are selling the house cos of our “relationship” I’ve been with this girl for 10 years and she’s completely changed in the last 2 years to someone who is so vile and evil towards me. I’ve been slapped , punched in the face , grabbed round the throat by her , plates thrown at me , just for asking where she’s been !

[stephie86]

Oh goodness, I am so so sorry. This must be so difficult. Wishing you all the best in your own recovery from the separation

[paul0572]

It’s not easy as you get dragged back in cos you love the person who they were before and hope they will come back

[stephie86]

Yea I can imagine! So difficult

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