I’m absolutely ripped apart

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    • #6971
      paul0572
      Participant

      So basically after trying to get my girlfriend off coke for 2 years . Finally got her in to rehab after putting my self through hell .

      I found out when she was in there for 3 weeks , she was planning on moving in with the her dealer when she got out !

      Also found out that she had cheated on me with him !

      But 2 weeks into her rehab she was asking him to drop coke off for he there ! He actually refused as he knew how bad she was on It.

      She told him it’s easy to do we there’s only 1 member of staff on at night and another lad is getting a drop off tonight!

      £7500 that rehab cost .

      She didn’t speak to her dealer / boyfriend on the 3rd week at all .

      As she now has a new boyfriend that she met in rehab !

      And when she came out she’s moved to o Birmingham with him now !

      I didn’t know any of this , we last week , she phoned me crying saying she feels like she’s gonna die , her heart is comming out of her chest , she needs to see me etc…… Drove all the way there and all she wanted off me was a joint as she asked me to bring one down if she had any left in the house!

      Then later that week ok the Sunday as was told that her new boyfriend was with her staying on her nans as her Granadad had just died .

      I’m never too told to the truth by her and always left in the dark !

      This is the same day I found out she was cheating with the dealer!

      I love her and I don’t know why , she has told me she can never come back to me because what she’s done this to me !

      So I went though 2 years of hell and now this new lad from rehab is gonna get the none addict girl that I was suppose to get now !

    • #24822
      redfox20
      Participant

      Hi Paul, sorry to read this. I can’t believe she did that in the rehab asking for drugs to be dropped off! Shocking her behaviour sounds awful towards you and she uses you sorry to be so blunt. I’d say you had a lucky escape and let her get on with it! As I’ve said before you sound like such a lovely man who deserves more make yourself happy focus on you! It will make you feel so much happier.

    • #24823
      paul0572
      Participant

      I know , it’s just so heart breaking as I still love her for some reason . And she’s telling me she’s off it but it doesn’t look like it by her actions . If she is , why does some one else get to get the best of her when I’ve been to hell and back for her

    • #24826
      cali111
      Participant

      My husband who left me for another woman (he only admits this some of the time – but I have to remember I’m not an idiot this is what’s going on) also claims to be off coke now. But nothing he does makes sense. They are such liars. You do not deserve this life there is something much better out there as heartbreaking as this all is. I’m so sorry she’s done you real dirty and is just a user and abuser. Please try and do some self healing. I’ve read a book called “the untethered soul” that has been helpful. As well as therapy. I’m also on anxiety medication that I believe has helped me. They don’t see what we go through. My husband barely sees that he’s done anything wrong. My therapist reminds me that exiting a marriage with lying, cheating, and drug use is not normal. Praying for you and please take care.

      • #24863
        paul0572
        Participant

        Thank you for your reply .

        I just didn’t deserve any of this . The thing that breaks me most is she was togther with the dealer before she went in . Then within a week she dropped him and was with someone else . Didn’t even tell me about him , she was still phoning me and speaking to me when he was with her or when he had fallen to sleep . She says she’s not using anymore but and she didn’t ask for any drugs to be dropped off in rehab , but I believe the dealer over her and he’s told me many things that make sense . I asked her about some of the things that she told him happened in rehab and all of them where true , apart from her asking to get a drop off. So I know he would have no reason to lie about that ! But she would ! She’s such a liar and a manipulatior. I don’t even recognise her anymore after being with her for 10 years. The person I fell in love with died along time ago. Cocaine has taken her soul and her morrals

    • #24864
      paul0572
      Participant

      One thing I think to why she’s acting like this is maybe because she is still using .

      So he was in rehab for 3 weeks for a 2 year cocaine addiction .

      First 2 weeks she was contacting her dealer to take some in for her. As she said it’s easy to do as another lad was getting a drop off tonight !

      Then the dealer said no he wouldn’t do it . Then she didn’t want to know him anymore and she moved on to her next target who she was in rehab with .

      When she came out of rehab , the first day out she moved to Birmingham over 2 hours away from us to live with some other guy she met in rehab.

      The dealer told me he would get messages off her in rehab , like she’s feels like she’s gonna die etc ….

      I also got a message like that when she was out of rehab and living in Birmingham and she was so bad , crying ove the phone, I’m gonna die , I need you . I drove all the way to see her in Birmingham! She looked ruff as. On the way there to be the night in shining armour she asked me if she had any weed left in her stash at home. She did ! So she begged me to bring that down with me. Soon as I got there she basically took it off me and went inside . So I drove 2 hours to see he for 10 minutes and she wanted to see so badly to talk to me. She wouldn’t look at m in the face !

      A few days later she turned up at my house in her rehab boyfriends car, I didn’t know at the time . She still says they have only been on a few dates . But I wouldn’t believe me if she said I was on fire . So anyway , I checked the camera as she was loading more clothes into the car and she must of done the tell tale cocaine blocked nose sniff about 6 times in the space of a minute !

      So my thinking is , she was forced into rehab , got there and figured out she would get some in there . Came out after having the time of her life and meeting her new fella . Still addicted to it ! Knows her family would disown her. So the only thing to do to continue using is to move away from everyone !

    • #24866
      paul0572
      Participant

      Is there any online groups that would help ?

    • #24867
      paul0572
      Participant

      I mean online meetings

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