I’m all out of ideas

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    • #5254
      montyclm
      Participant

      My husband is a cocaine addict. I have tried everything possible to help him give up & I seriously don’t know what else to do apart from leave him. I still love him but I can’t go on for another ten years living with the lies & deceit and broken promises, it’s making me really unwell, any advice from anyone.

    • #12525
      danman83
      Participant

      Sorry to hear this.. how much and how often does he have it?

      He really needs to want to quit himself.

    • #12526
      amski12
      Participant

      Hi, I think I am in the same position as you, while we’re kot married we’ve been together over 15yrs and have a house and 3 young children.

      He’s took recreationally since before we met but I think it started to become a problem around 6 years ago & has gotten much worse in the last 2 years…

      I am now at the point where he’s had to leave the family home (3months ago) and I have had to take a huge step back.. it’s a slow process but I genuinely think if he really wants to do it get help and live a better life he will ask for help (once he’s ready) unfortunately his family enable which makes it so much harder but as hard as it may be sometimes doing nothing – I mean nothing no picking up the pieces, or doing anything to enable them is the best thing you can do! And look after yourself first and foremost…

      When I read that you have to have boundaries and stick to them

      I always struggled with how to put a boundary in place and how to stick to it… I’ve learned my own ways things such as definitely no lying for him, and I will tell anyone of our friends and family the real problem, no giving money or paying bills or money for fuel etc etc…

      we’re going to lose our home but I am going to have to ride it out… my mental health was in tatters (which is why he had to go) and since I’ve took a step back I feel

      a lot better myself, i have the kids to think about too…

      The best bit of advice I can offer from

      My experience is look after yourself firstly! Talk to friends/family anyone you can do it really really does help…

      as for your husband he really does have to want the help, maybe see if he will go to some sort therapy?

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