[ctoo]

Where do I start well let’s just say cocaine does destroy not only the user but the partner as well.

My bf is a user of the horrid stuff I knew this when we first met and ok I sort of adapted to it … cut a long story short we moved in together last year and little did I know he only has one love and that’s the white stuff no matter what the cost.

Financially it’s put me in debt as no bills are paid I cover the mortgage and other debts – he gets paid well but it’s all his to sniff at the nose ….. I’m at breaking point and apparently it’s all my fault !

I make him want to do it … I’m a wh@4e ( bearing in mind he’s on mucky sites on his phone during his coke binges) but that’s ok …. I’m every thing else under the sun.

He has asked me to leave why should I leave please help anyone else experienced this

[esta]

Completely understand where you are coming from, and feel for you as I too became the enemy as I think is the case in many addiction relationships. It’s the biggest kick in the teeth when all you have done is try and help them and they literally turn on you

It’s the hardest decision to walk away

It’s so bad at the end because you literally become strangers

[ctoo]

Thank you I do need strength , I just wish they could see the damage it’s doing , I fear most mornings the night after he has been on it that I will find him dead.

No matter what the implications are he always defends the gear.

I made my self feel finding his dealers no and reg and have raised this on crime stoppers and the local police I hope they catch him he is also destroying lives !!

My BF is totally in the wrong as well ……. well actually ex we had a blazing row and let’s just say again it was me in the wrong .

He used to make me smile and laugh and when he’s not on the gear I wouldn’t want any one else but as sad it is the cocaine is eating him up

[becky90]

Hi, I’m so sorry you’re in this position, I’m in a similar situation. Please don’t believe the ‘it’s all your fault’ rubbish, it’s not your fault, I get the same sometimes so I understand how draining it is. I get ‘you’re so boring’ ‘you just control me so much it’s my only release’ etc. Is the house in your name or both? Does he have anywhere to go?

As awful as it sounds, I would consider leaving before you get any further involved (kids, marriage etc). I would have left a long time ago if I didn’t have children with my partner. Look after yourself x

[ctoo]

Hi thanks for the support , yes the house is in my name not his (thank god) so by rights he is the cocaine addict he is ruining my world he needs to go unfortunately his parents are no longer with him and his brother and sister have washed their hands with him , so no he doesn’t have any where to go.

The very sad part is that he went on this spiral a few years ago but for him self out of it met me and settled down but now he has chucked it all away .

I love him unconditionally and the thought of him not in my life any more is hard to accept .

But the strain on me is killing me and I also get called the boaring one – I said to him go be with some other coke head of a woman let ur life spiral even more you can argue over the biggest line if it makes you happy by that I then got called a fat c&:t .

We are barley speaking now and living under the same roof as a non couple is difficult – but he’s ok he can just go get another packet sit down stairs sniffing while I sit up stairs with painful tears in my eyes .

Since last weekend I think I have had 8 to 9 hours sleep the rest of the time my eyes are just draining tears and all I get told is I’m a child for crying.

Lastly I know no matter what threats I do I’m the one in the wrong if I hadn’t of made threats at him last time let him do his lines we would not be in this situation !!!!

I no longer want cocaine in my house it’s lethal look what it’s done .

[lece13]

Hi, just been reading your story and it’s an awful situation to be in. Do know that there are other people out there with similar struggles and you are not alone.

In terms of having to live like that under the same roof must be extremely hard not only emotionally but mentally. I would say I’m lucky in one way as my ex bf never used in the house he just disappeard for days / weeks then returned when he felt like it. He still does it now in the sense kids don’t hear anything then he reappears to see them whilst trying to mess with my head. You feel u don’t even know where you are at in your own mind and the manipulation is awful. I’m always drawn back in, but have become stronger in the way im not as easily led now. Its an awful atmosphere to live in when they are like that. No emotion or remorse displayed just sheer cruelty. Do know that’s part of the addiction though. It changes them from the inside.

My advice is you need to clear your mind and have a long hard think. This I imagine you can’t do whilst he is using in the same house as you. I would either escape to collect your thoughts at family/friends house in the hope he may pull himself together or I’d tell him to get out if he is going to continue using everyday.

From experience you can’t pull yourself together or think logically when you are consumed by what is going on in your house. You need space to think, deal with your emotions and feelings. Hopefully resulting in you putting a plan in action to help deal with your situation.

I wish you strength! Take care

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