[pollysmyth]

My son is in denial about his drinking and affecting the whole family with his behaviour. His drinking has caused so much upset and hurt, he drinks alone in his room (super strength cider)… and constantly lies about his drinking. It’s painful to see my son destroying his life, losing job after job and relationships. We have tried so hard to get help but how do you convince someone they need it?… tensions have been so high we asked him to leave but I have taken him back after I heard he was sleeping rough… he promises he will sort himself out and he has’nt got a problem. I found empty bottles again in his room which he has hidden. I really don’t know how much more I can take.

[danman83]

Hes obviously got a problem. But he needs to admit he has..

My personal opinion is be nice with him and tell him you are there for him, but he needs to get help, before he damages himself, and he gets his life back on track and stay positive.

If he refuses, tell him if he gets worse he will have find somewere else to live. Hes making you ill aswell.

But he really does need to get help. Theres a great app called pocket rehab for addicts and ex addicts and they all talk to each other and help each other with there problems. Its great and it does help.

Has something happened to make him him like this?

[pollysmyth]

Thank you so much for replying, he has had a problem with drink since he was 18. Over the years we have had many battles with his drinking behaviour. We have sought professional help and for a short time he attended his sessions. He always goes back to it and we are just stuck in these cycles of excessive drinking. Last year he had a seizure which we suspect was down to his drinking his MRI scan was clear but he refused further treatment. He has bouts of deep depression and we feel completely helpless and fear we have lost our son. He started drinking excessively again about six weeks ago and he say”s he was stressed about work and money. He will not listen to us and becomes completely hostile and verbally aggressive. We are really worried about him and cannot see a way out of this self harm.

[danman83]

Does he have money problems tho? I know its not my bussiness.. but if hes saying these are the problems and work.. maybe help him with these problems or guide him.. then he cant blame it on them… and then see were you are then..

Whats the problem with his job?

And if he has bouts of deep depression .. drinking wont help one bit as its a depresent.

[bonny]

My 27 year old daughter is an alcoholic she has hid it for a long term and I’ve only just realised the extent of the problem I’m in complete turmoil as the family suspected she was on a binge and she has an 8 year old son my other daughter wanted to call the police but we opted to go round tonight at around midnight and she wouldn’t let us in and we could hear our grandson screaming I really wanted to call the police as we’ve give her so many chances and my main concern now is my grandson but we managed to get him to open the door and removed him , I feel we should have got the police involved as it would have given her an ultimatum and maybe provided some assistance , I’m now wondering what do we do now ? This is the short version but she knows she has a problem but blames us ? What can I do to help her ?

[bonny]

Sorry I probably should have started a new thread I’m new I’ve now done this , apologies

[wittsend]

Hi pollysmyth im in a very similar position, although my son is younger at 21 and has had multiple addictions over the past 3 years, with alcohol abuse always being an underlying condition. Afraid I don’t have the answers but all I can say is that I’ve taken some professional advice recently and have decided to give him an ultimatum of rehab, counselling and stay living at home, or move out. He has 2 weeks to decide.

Our family life has been torn apart at various times, he has been verbally and physically abusive, then the next day he is absolutely lovely and apologetic with promises to never behave that way again. But then the cycle starts all over again. It feels like abuse. We cannot take it any more and for our own sanity we have had to say ‘no more’’.

(We have of course tried everything to help him with his mental health issues and addictions but he has refused the most recent offers of help, so we are left in a position with very little choice.)

It may sound cruel to be kind and maybe he will sink further before he starts to recover, but until he recognises the fact that he needs help we are just going to continue in this terrible cycle, so something has to change

I’ll let you know how it goes, as I say I don’t have all the answers but this is what we’re trying at the moment.

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