Hi Judith,
Thanks for your post. Its hard what you are going through, knowing that there may be tough decisions ahead.
I’m sure talking with people who would understand would be helpful and wonder if you might contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that support people dealing with the addictive behaviours of a friend or family member. If you contact us we would put you in touch with one of our trained and experienced people who would listen to you. Talking with them might help you to decide what to do next.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope this is helpful.