[deedee]

You are doing the right thing your daughter must come first. If she is scared when he drinks then that’s quite damaging. Your husband wont stop until he really wants to. I know you must be worrying that if you leave he will get worse trust me I’ve been there. When someone is an addict then their substance whatever it is will be the most important thing in their live and they will carry on no matter who they hurt.

[icarus-trust]

Hi,

Thanks for sharing your story. It’s really brave what you are doing and I guess it must be really hard for you.

I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust which would offer you help if you think that would be useful. We have people you could talk with and that might help you to answer some of your questions.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck to you.

[daisy12]

It’s really brave what you’re doing and I’m so sorry your in this position. But you must put your daughter first as things like this can be damaging later in life.

I’m sure if he looses what he loves he will realise and get help. I’d like to think he would for you both.

Good luck

[cruella71]

I feel like I want to leave my husband because of his mental health and alcohol issues. I just don’t know which way to turn. It’s making me ill

[lem40]

I’m in a similar situation- my husband has poor mental health at the moment and I’ve discovered recently that he’s been drinking in secret every day! I knew he liked a drink and had always drank at home, nights out etc but it’s like he doesn’t know his limits and gets to the point where he becomes argumentative and just basically behaves like an idiot! I feel his mental health has been caused by his need to have a drink. He’s been put on antidepressants about 4 years ago – some days he’ll take them, other days he won’t so hasn’t been getting the benefit from them plus he’s always drank while being on them which counter acts what the tablets are trying to do. New Year’s Eve was the last straw for me -i have threatened to leave so many times if he didn’t change and he would for about a week, but then go back to the same old ways. On New Year’s Eve he got drunk to the point where he was being sick in the car, out the window and all in front of our 9 year old! She was upset and disgusted at his behaviour and the way he was speaking to me. When we got home, he kicked the back gate in, was swearing out in the street and then stormed off across the fields! I couldn’t find him! In the end he came back at 5 am after falling over and sleeping under a tree! A 41 year old dad of 3!! I was so disgusted that he’d behaved like that, so I told him to leave and he went to stay with his mum. He swears he hasn’t had a drink since – which I believe- and he wants a chance to make things right between us. Sadly, with addiction, I’ve learnt that only a crisis situation such as a marriage breakdown, makes a person realise they have to change and get help. Sorry to hear bout your situation- does your husband drink to excess everyday??

[lamouette]

You are doing the right thing.

I am the other way round to you in that we have my partners children every other weekend.

Today my partner is definitely not in a fit state to look after his children. He downed 12 beers and a whole bottle of sherry last night and sat up drinking until 6:30am.

I’m about to call their mother as the little one is 2 1/2 and is refusing to let me change her nappy and I don’t want to force her and frighten her.

I worry when they are here becasue I don’t want to leave his own children with him so I can go out. Trust me – you’re doing the right thing.

I’m about to ask him to leave my house – he needs to get his life together and realise what he’s got and what he can lose.

Put yourself and your little ones first- good luck x

[Author]

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