[redfox20]

Alright mate, wow you have got into a bit of a mess there haven’t you. Firstly if you have realised you have got a problem go get some professional help to get off the drugs. This will help your mental state and help you make sound decisions about your life going forward. I think honesty is the best way forward here I think leaving her when the baby is born is not the way to do it. Whether she’s who you like or love or not it’s just not fair to do it that way, be there for your child if you can but I’d tell her before then how you feel. With your ex that will take time you have hurt her a lot you know this but again it comes back to you being clean as that it what caused this chain of events in the first place. Hope this helped.

[lostsoul2021]

A very big mess to say the least! The thing is I don’t think I’m ready to admit properly for professional help even though I need to stop if that makes sense? I won’t leave straight after the baby but I think it’s wise I leave eventually then I get into my head that the baby coming will bring the love for her even though I know it probably won’t but I just argue with my own self al the time about different scenarios that might happen. Thank you for taking your time reading my long post and helpful advice

[redfox20]

Hi I totally get that that’s why most people who struggle with drugs do I suppose coz they won’t ask for help. Can I ask what do you think is stopping you from doing that? I think you will feel closer to her as she’s given birth to your child but as a woman she may get even closer to you as you both share a child. I’d do it beforehand let her get her head round it and calm down before baby is born. I think it would be wise to seek that help mate as it’s the cause of all your problems and it will be hard but it gets easier and your life will be so much better. No worries hope it helped somewhat.

[lostsoul2021]

It has helped and I don’t know really and I do actually enjoy smoking it then the next day I think to myself never again and when I’ve tried to stop I can never get over the 3 week mark ever and that’s where all the problems from my old relationship stemmed from because of me saying “ that was my last” even through this pregnancy I planned on sorting myself out but I haven’t, I still haven’t moved on from my old relationship even though I have a girlfriend and baby on the way & it was me who “moved” on first but I think I’m still struggling to stop & forget my old relationship and it’s not helping that I text her most of the time, just in a friendly manor then I stop thinking it’s wrong then I can’t help myself but to text her again, this has been going on for the last 8 months talking to her regular and I can’t seem to stop! my life’s just one bit mess

[redfox20]

It is hard it’s a vicious cycle with drugs, but the only way to stop it is to get professional help some can quit on their own but not many can. Of course this has to be when your ready to do it. I think everything is a little overwhelming for you at the moment and drugs don’t help with this either as you will struggle then need to use. It sounds like you have realised what you have missed with your ex and have a lot of regret. You rushed into this new relationship a rebound type of thing and that’s totally normal but it’s all got out of hand. I would sit down tell her how you feel maybe take some time alone and concentrate on yourself for a while.

[lostsoul2021]

I’m taking the drugs to blank things out also cos that’s the only time I do forget about everything

[lostsoul2021]

I’ve wanted to time & time again but then I can’t get it out of my mouth. I’ve ended it a couple of times then some how I end up back because I feel guilty and don’t want to cause her or baby stress. I just don’t know how long I can go pretending because I know the baby won’t make me love her and I’m already distant with her but it’s all my own doing I’ve got myself into this mess, I just never in a million years thought I’d be in this situation when I first met her but in some ways I think she wanted to get pregnant but what’s done is done but thank you for all your help I really appreciate it

[redfox20]

Yeah it’s a tough one you don’t want to hurt her & leading her on isn’t good either you already know this as you go back and forth with it already. I hope you can sort it out and stay civil with her for your child. We never know what can happen in life but we can control our own happiness and outcomes by making good choices and drugs don’t allow this as you well know. And yeah it’s an escape I get that different people have different reasons as to why they use etc my ex says boredom but I think he’s not addressing the real reason. Hope you’re okay mate!

[lostsoul2021]

I’ve used that excuse “bored” many times but really when it comes down to it it’s just me wanting it, I can’t settle until I have it. My new girlfriend just fit into my life at the time because she used cocaine with me ( she never smoked crack) and she liked to party just as much as me so I had no1 nagging at me to stop because she was doing it with me. Time passed so quick and by the time I cut down and really actually looked at what I’d done it was too late because she was pregnant and I do feel awful on her because I shouldn’t have ever got into a new relationship, I should have tried to fix the one I broke but I blamed my ex for everything when really al the problems stemmed from my drug taking. My girlfriend isn’t attractive one bit and I know looks aren’t everything but I don’t know what I was thinking. But I’ve made my bed now and I’m trying to make it work for our baby’s sake because despite everything she is a nice person I just have to put me not loving her aside & help look after baby and hopefully I can cut my drug taking but thank you to those who’ve took time to read my long post and posting replies

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