[littlehappy]

I’ writing this after another night alone in bed whilst he’s sat downstairs sniffing, waking me at 6 this morning asking me to drive him or he will risk driving himself so I stupidly did.

I’m 3 months pregnant, our dream! After 3 miscarriages I finally fell pregnant but it all seems too late.

He is the love of my life!, we are the slightly different dream couple that people envy, I’m 44 he’s 28.

I have 4 amazing loving girls, he only has his mum,

We just fit, or we did, inseparable ever since, that is until this year.

He introduced me to different drugs, mdma, coke, ecstasy. Always on a really careful level, together and safe as possible.

And then last year the man who brought him up died unexpectedly.

Life changed, he’s buying 2 or 3 tickets every other night, he’s using beans and Valium to get rest.

He has no patience, I can’t speak without him shutting me down, yet he writes me messages about how I can change.

He has no money, he gambles or borrows or will even drive for his dealers.

This is my man! The amazing man I fell for, and he’s gone.

He cry’s happy tears over our baby, promises to change.

I can’t speak to anyone about this, I just want him to stop or see what’s going on.

I stopped way before I fell pregnant, I stopped drinking and vaping, I have a huge reason.

He’s drinking so much as well, my house has a smell of smoke and alcohol, it’s disgusting. I can’t help regretting our baby yet it’s all I’ve prayed for for years, I don’t want this to be our life.

[kel1]

Cocaine = devil drug. Absolutely hate it.

Anyways, I’m sorry you’re going through this, I can sense how much you enjoy{ed} this man and being a couple. It’s such a shame to hear this, and I’m sure you are at a loss as to what to do.

I’m pleased you’ve decided not to partake in substance misuse anymore.

Unfortunately we could bang on all day and say what we want and how we are affected, however he needs to want to get the help and change for himself. Self motivation beats addiction hands down.

You can read my story if you like by clicking on my name. I understand how this can damage people and destroy relationships.

Try to look after yourself and focus on you and the pregnancy, else you will be brought into HIS chaos.

If he wants help then he would need to contact his local drugs service. Details can be found on the homepage here also.

Keep safe and keep talking

[Author]

Posts