[hopelessmom]

Hi everyone, I’m new here and not really sure how to do this, but I need some advice and I need it now…please. My adult daughter has been an addict for probably 20 years…off and on. More on than off. The last 5 -7 years she has really gotten addicted to spice. She does lots of other drugs as well. For about the last 3-4 years she has been extremely mean and just horribly ugly and hateful towards me. I’ve lost count of how many times she has told me that she wishes I was dead or she can’t wait until I’m dead. She has called me every name out there and has lied and stole from me. Here recently she has started to become physically abusive towards me. I’ve got to have shoulder surgery as soon as I can because of something she did to me.

But then she will text me or call me wanting something and if I tell her no, the sky falls out of the sky. It’s just absolutely horrible they way she treats me. I have tried so, so hard to be there for her and to help her but it’s as if whatever I do is never good enough. And it’s something every single day.

Her and her so called boyfriend have gotten kicked out of a few different apartments because of domestic violence and arguing. So they either stay where they can, in their car that doesn’t run, in hotels if they can panhandle enough money or in the woods in a tent. I live with my elderly parents and they will not let her stay here anymore. She has burned that bridge horribly. So that’s just one more thing she blames on me….she tells me that a real mother would never let anyone tell them that their child (she’s an adult) could not live with them. I have no control over my parents decision and I respect my parents and I’m not going to argue with them about that situation. She has had so many chances to live here and do better, but she won’t do better.

I don’t know what to do anymore. She started fussing at me this morning and I blocked her phone number because I just can’t handle the awful things she says to me. She’s always begging for money and I’m not going to give it to her and she loses it.

Any advice on how I can deal with this would be so greatly appreciated. I’m so lost and I have no idea what to do anymore. Thank you so much.

[debc]

Hi HopelessMom (I’m sure your not),

Welcome to the Forum where you will find many people in similar situations to your own.

I think you are doing the right thing by not giving your daughter the money that will obviously be spent on drugs. I don’t know anything about Spice, but it doesn’t sound as if it does her much good by the awful things she says to you.

My Son is an addict (alcohol/cocaine), and has been for about 12 years, as you know it’s so very wearing and coping with their moods and abuse is just horrible.

If you look on the Theresa thread, you will find a few Mums with Sons who are all trying to cope with Addiction, some are doing well, which is great, but everybody is so supportive and it helps me being able to chat to people who are in the same situation.

Please take care of you and know that you are not on your own. Please keep in touch on here.

Thinking of you.

Dx

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