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I just found out my boyfriend of 9 years has been using cocaine. I’m devestated to say the least. Excuse on spelling. I’m completely lost in emotions. I can barely work and do my job. He’s turned my whole life upside down. I know I need to leave. But want things to just get better. And for him to treat me the way I deserve. He says he loves me. But who would do this??? Who knows what else I don’t know ? Where there’s drugs there’s other issues. Cheating? ???? I don’t trust him, or believe anything he says. Just lost. All I know is I don’t deserve this. I even drug tested him 2 weeks ago. Saw all the signs. Can up dirty . He had some lame excuse. We even started counseling a week ago, because I knew something was just not right. The blow up fights have been over the top. I know I should leave, but he says give him a chance to make it up to me.
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Oh Kristi how awful for you. Bet you are feeling as though someone has kicked you in the guts! If you can be sure he’s committed to quitting then stay with him & offer support. Sadly addicts say to loved ones the words they want to hear & make false promises. Why not write him a letter to explain how YOU feel and how concerned you are about him. A 9 yr relationship shouldn’t be thrown aside easily but it’s all down to him to seek the help he needs and prove to himself & you he can quit. Stay strong. Hugs
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It will only get better if he chooses to get help and stay clean.
There are places like Al-anon for family members and friends of users that, if he chooses recovery, will help you as well.
It’s hard to be the partner of an addict, and I can only imagine there are times when it is difficult to be the partner of a recovering addict, as you don’t always know the best way to help them, and sometimes you need someone to talk to about what’s going on also.
I have the same thoughts about my partners drug and alcohol use, is he cheating on me, if I leave will he bring home other women while I’m gone.
Why aren’t I good enough to stop using for.
Unfortunately you have to put YOU first and they have to put themselves first before the recovery can work.
L
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