[retroheadz]

Gil,

Morning, I want you to know that your story is not new and very concerning. As you already know physical contact is never acceptable in any circumstance and regardless of his explanation for blacking out which in my extensive experience I know to be unrealistic. Anyway, your not going to be able to help him with his addiction because your too close to him. Absolutely 1000% he’s deep in a physical and mental addiction that needs professional help and his GP or local addiction ctr is his first step to get the help he needs. Please please don’t get yourself into a long term abusive situation because his behaviour will definitely not change and he is fully aware of what he has done to you but can’t control the addiction. Firstly, You need to stay safe ! But you need to insist on him getting help for his addiction and don’t take “no I’m not” because he is. If you fear telling him then do it in a public place or write him a letter.

I guarantee you he will never escape cocaine or alcohol on his own as it’s not possible. And do not EVER let him put his hands on you again!!!!!

If you live in the same house then find an alternative because it’s just a house. I’m sure he’s a nice person without the poison but first he needs to stop everything to become that person. I wish you the best of luck.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Gil,

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you are having a tough time and am concerned that your partner has been abusive to you.

Please keep yourself safe and if you need information and advice you can phone the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. This line is free and confidential and is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I work for a charity called Icarus Trust which offers support to people dealing with the addiction of a partner. If you think we can be of help too please get in touch.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck and keep safe.

[helen300]

Your story is a similar one to mine , in fact I was reading it thinking wow this is my life. I understand what you’re going through, the pain and the helplessness. Please remember to look after yourself . I say this as I’m crying because my husband has been drinking and been horrible to me an hour ago. Only they can decide to change. You have to make sure you are ok. My husband has not spoken to me for 3 days because he got blind drunk, smashed a glass across the kitchen and punched the wall , and I think is so embarrassed by it that he doesn’t know what to say. I feel desperately sorry for him and for your partner as we stay with them because we like the sober half. Please stay safe xx

[gil]

Thanks for your reply.

So I eventually got an apology 4 days later and told it would never happen again.

But I’m not so sure……

he doesn’t remember the shoving????? and said he doesn’t remember much…..

guess what! He’s been on it again this weekend blind drunk and literally packed his stuff up and left….not even rowed as such….

I’m adamant I’m not chasing him this time. He needs to sober up and come down off whatever he’s on and think about things as this is a constant circle and I literally can’t take it anymore….

[danman83]

Hiya im struggling with coke and lapsing once every month a bout..

Your are totally right about the starting arguments to get coke.

In his head he will be going through emotional, mental, physical relapse.

So emotional comes 1st.. he will start arguments to get coke, or feel down cause problems. Its your brain playing tricks on you. Im not defending him here but its horrible going through it. If he never ever tried it, well obvioulsy he wouldnt be this person. Some get hooked more than others. He wont mean things he says. Its just what it does.

He defo needs to quit drinking as this is a main trigger to get coke.

Have u any kids?

[Author]

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