[mystik9528]

So I’ve been with my man now for 5 years.. We met both using illicit drugs but a year down the road I became pregnant so we quit. I noticed immediately that his interest in sex was no longer there, or so I thought. I tried new things but nothing worked, I just figured he was stressed with the news so didn’t push it too much until I found a hidden file on his phone by accident. It was covered in porn. So I instantly was hurt and demanded an explanation not only to why he felt he couldn’t include me but why he went a step further and hid it on his phone. He apologized and he seemed to make an effort in our love lives. I let him know how important the trust was and he seemed to understand but still our sex was barely there. He might last 5 minutes and then go to bed and never really concerned himself if I was good but I didn’t complain because hey it was an improvement. As time moved on I caught him using porn behind my back again, and I felt even more hurt, I told him my needs aren’t being met and it’s not okay with me for him to sneak off to meet his. He again was apologetic and we moved on. Awhile after our kid was born and on the rare occasion we had my family in town to take our child for the evening we decided to let loose a bit and party again. The intimacy was better, he seemed to be interested in me again but he now wanted me to role play, odd rolls like a cousin or something. I was really standoff ish but I obliged at first until I realized he hadn’t wanted me to be myself at all, I was always playing someone else. We’ve now been together 5 years and if he’s not high or I’m not role playing someone of his choosing the intimacy is non existent. I cry after sex lately because I’ve sunken so low that I just want to be intimate with the man I love so bad that I appease him by not being me. I told him how I feel so many times and when we don’t role play he acts like it’s a chore, just get in and get out. On several occasions he’s even forgotten I was laying in bed with him and just turned on porn. I truly appreciate any input guys thanks!

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