Hello,
Thank you for posting and sharing your story. I really sympathise as I can see that you are in a very difficult and upsetting position which is hard for you to make sense of. If you think it would help please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for people who are living with the addiction of a loved one. We have experienced people who you could talk to who would understand what you are experiencing and may be help you to know what to do next.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you can get some support. Good luck.