[desperado]

Hi…never had to post on any site before but this is starting to eat me up!

I met my partner 4 years ago and knew from the start he was 10 years clean from using drugs…mainly injecting heroin. Everything was brilliant to begin with…we had so much fun and then I got caught pregnant. I already have 2 children from a previous relationship so having another was great and it was his first. Everything was brilliant and then I got myself pregnant again. Things were going fine and it seemed that everything was perfect. Then when I was heavily pregnant I found out he had smoked heroin! I was absolutley mortified…how could he do this to me while I was pregnant?? We talked it over because I found the evidence otherwise he wouldnt have owned up to it. He assured me that this was a one off and it would never happen again, that he felt like a failure because of it and he had let himself down and I should stand by him and not give up on him….which I said I would because I love him. Over the past few weeks I have had these gut feelings that he is still using and found lots of pieces of evidence that he is..foil.gone missing…being secretive..off out for small errands and being gone for 3-4 hours at a time and making excuses. He also stays up all night and sleeps most if the day…which means I am left with 4 children to sort, feed and amuse. I also found out he smoked a ‘tooter’?? whilst I was in hospital giving birth….he kept telling me he couldnt cope in the delivery suite and that he was spending time in the car for his own state of mind!

I have confronted him on a few occasions but he gets angry and mad that I have doubted him even when I have the proof!!! Its all starting to get me really down…I have and will support him and realise he has to put his recovery first but suffer myself from mental illness ie post natal depression with every pregnancy and this is starting to maķe me feel ill ….am I just looking for problems.or is he manipulating me??? Please give me some advice as this is a new thing to me….what to do???

[sk]

follow your gut feeling all the things you have described almost certainly points out that he is using again. its heart breaking and i feel your pain. the reason he is angry when you confront him is because you are right with what you are saying and he does’nt want to admit it to hiself. have you noticed money going missing or anything like that because again another sign. it is hard being in love with a addict but you have to think of yourself and your children. Please go with your gut feeling you also have the evidence my partner hid his foil in his socks bit stupid when it was me who did the washing. they do become very secretive and go missing i also found this with my partner. please look after yourself addicts are selfish and have a real way of making you feel guilty for suspecting what is true.

[sk]

read the post tragically sad on this site i have been talking to kelly on here and she is amazing her words of advice has helped me no end i am stronger because of her please please please read it xxx

[icarus-trust]

Hi Maryjoan,
I can see that your husband’s drinking is really hard for you to come to terms with, and it often helps to talk through your worries and feelings with people that have had similar experiences. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust which tries to support people like yourself who are dealing with a loved one’s addiction. If you contact us you could be put in touch with one of our ‘Family Friends’. These are experienced trained volunteers who would understand the issues you are facing. Talking with one of these might help you to find a way ahead as well as signpost other services that might help your husband.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you will find this helpful. Good luck.

[icarus_trust]

Reading your post is heart-breaking, you’ve got so much to deal with, let a lone having to look after another person. It is a lot for anyone to have to deal with.

I work for a charitable organisation which provides help with a ‘friend’ and are extremely easy to talk to, if you still need it. You can simply register on the website http://www.icarustrust.co.uk/contact/ or email us at help@icarustrust.org.

I really hope things start to pick up for you very soon! We wish you the best of luck.

[desperado]

Thankyou for commenting…it a situation I never thought I would be in..neither does anyone else on here….so frustrating knowing that if I am right (and Im almost certain) he has allowed himself back into the ‘fold’ of this awful drug and not even his children top it! I have tried to do so much research into this demon drug, trying to find out why?? Sk I guess we are in the same boat….life sucks at times..especially when you fall in love with an addict!

[Author]

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