Hi Bunny Blue,
Thanks for posting your story. I am so sorry that life has been so difficult for you, and how other people’s drinking has left you feeling.
Clare is right, the Samaritans would be really good to talk to if it gets all too much to bear.
Meanwhile, you might find it helpful to know about a charity called The Icarus Trust that provides support for people who are having to deal with addictive behaviours of family members. We know how hard it is for people in your situation and talking to one of our experienced, trained people might help you. Everything would be in complete confidence.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the very best to you.