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Where to start? Not sure what came first! Mums alcoholism probably. No doubt aggravated by the birth & subsequent adoption of my son when I was just 16. Quickly followed by my marriage & 2 beautiful children. Divorce. The start of those beautiful children smoking weed. Another marriage & 2 more beautiful children. Divorce number 2. Older children moved onto Ketamine Cocaine Speed…..you name it. The discovery that my beautiful first born son was dead at the age of 21. Cause? Cocktail of heroin & alcohol! I’m reeling. Is this for real? Another discovery…….Husband number 1 is gay HIV positive using “G” & crack cocaine. I’ve been matter of fact in writing this down. If I open my heart & say it how it really is I don’t know if the pain will stop. I have to be strong for my 2 younger children. 17 & 16 & so far so good! I feel helpless. Numb. Lost. I could go on with a very long list of negatives but what’s the point. The heartbreak is turning to anger slowly but surely. I don’t want that. It’s ugly. I just don’t know how to carry on anymore.
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