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My 19 year old started smoking cannabis about 3 to 4 years ago. All his friends did it but he got caught by the police and was on a final warning for having class A drugs on his persons. He reluctantly attended a course through the YOT but found the whole experience laughable at 16 and did not learn from it. He managed to scrap through college and got some qualifications in computer studies but has not worked since and spends most his days in bed and staying up late into the night smoking very strong weed. He appears depressed and hardly goes out with his friends or socialises with his own family. He has excluded himself from almost everybody. He has a girlfriend but he often refuses to see her. He has no money(he does a bit of wheeling and dealing on Ebay with computers and gets cash off his father) but will not sign on nor contribute to the household. I am a lone parent and work full time and am getting to the point where I dont know what to do as despite many conversations about his future, encouragement and support to look for jobs he still lives like this. He leaves his mess for me to clear up and eats the food I buy. I have now stopped buying food and have my own fridge. I dont cook for him either. We do not communicate and although live in the same house, manage to avoid each other because I feel defeated and have given up. He has in the past been violent towards me when I have tried to stop him smoking in the house and has trashed his room, so I am ashamed to say, I just let him get on with it now, even though it hurts me to see him like that. Added to which I used to smoke cannabis as a young person and am hoping it is a phase he will grow out of but he seems depressed and this lifestyle seems never ending. His older half brother smokes cannabis too which does not help when he comes round they spark up but not to the extent he does. I keep asking myself are things really that bad? and will this pass? I don’t know how to go about this or how to approach the situation but know it needs to change. I feel quite alone in all of this as his absent father is not supportive.

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