[louisa]

My daughter is 26,she is a heroin/crack addict,i found out in november 2013 that she had been useing for 7 months,injecting heroin and useing crack,i gave her a choice as to cum home live wiv me and get clean,or stay wiv her boyfreind and end up dead,gave her an hour to choose,she came home,she was still makeing excuses to meet up wiv him every night,i didnt like this as i felt she was still useing,then slowly that stopped,becos i was so upset and kicking off about it,she then was put on drr,twice a week tested,and on 16 mg subbotex daily,which she moaned about takeing,so 4 months on is just on 6mg,as she wanted to cum off them as dont agree wiv her,was missing takeing them every weekend,but said she didnt need them,every week end since she as said she is clean as argued wiv either me or her boyfreind ov 7 years who is not a user,not her ex who is a user,.she argues about anything and everything,puts us down,picks faults,blames us for things,says basically how good her life was on heroin,trys to make heroin sound like a positive thing in her life,wen i kno it sent her life down hill,still talks to users,as the storys she comes home wiv wen she been out are all about users,said she gets offered it and refuses,even though crack being done in her presence,.says she gets freinds offering all the time but says no,but then her moods are a nightmare,now as left my home to go back to her flat,like she is punishig me,and this has happend since she found out her ex the user as cum back into town,she as days wen she wont even brush her hair wen she goes out,moans about drr testing,but goes anyway,.her moods are tearful in the mornings,sum mornings,sum times ok,she causes arguments,to go off on her own,to cum back a few hours later wiv half a can ov bee,but angry at me and her boyfreind,i want to kno if these are signs she is still useing,becos i kno the craft that heroin addicts use,its hard to tell if she lieing or being honest,she picks at spots on her face quiet often,she dosnt av much ov appetite,and her arguments are every week on a thursday/friday and last for a day or 2 each time,but this is always after she as been out,or befor she leaves,someone please help me,i am at my wits end,she as now told me she dosnt want to talk to me,as i told her i dont want her argueing in my home any more its unbearable,she was shouting abuse at me,so i told her if she dont want to be here then go back to her flat,hopeing she mite realize she got to sort her act out,she left,and i feel she punishing me as she knos i worry out ov my mind about her,or she is useing again and wants to get away so she dosnt av to worry about me catching her out anymore,thankyou x

[cant-take-no-more]

Hi Louisa …..its hard being a parent to an addict..we feel their pain, anger, desperation..They are fabulous liars, and yes it is hard to know the truth, and REALLY hard to believe anything they say….. It sounds like she isnt ready to come off the drugs and is merely going through the motions…..I could be wrong… There has to come a point when as a parent you say enough is enough…At the moment she knows you will be there for her, and that is another form of enabling her…….Her going off speaks volumns.. Im pretty sure you know in your heart, why she is acting this way…..The spots, lack of appetite, arguing, going off all lead me to one conclusion…she is still using! We cant save our kids, they have to ask to he helped, and only then can we share their journey and be there for them, and that road is a tough one…Before that happens its very much like ripping your heart out on a daily basis…Think about what you need at this point, because when she is ready, you will need all the strength you can muster to help her and watch her and support her in getting clean….I hope this has helped…you need to take care of you, and I really hope things change in the future and am here if you need to talk xx

[brian]

I agree so much with@cant take no more’ I have learnt that you have to let them go. They know they are loved that we as parents would lay down and die for them. However, as hard as it is, let them go, pray and wait. When they do come back take things slowly, the rtrust may take months or years to build back up. While you are they for them whatever it is a form of enabling them to carry on. They have ownership of the problem they have to take ownership of the solution. Not much help for you at the moment. but i believe that the only chance of saving them is to back off and let them reach rock bottom. Take care Brian

[Anonymous]

Hi Lousia…I over my help and support as well, you can find me on facebook as Hendrik David Duvenhage I would like to hear from you…Regards,Hendrik

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