[bt1978]

Hey Klou.

I have been sober since 2008 so know a little about alcoholism and how it works so to speak.

People often go by the amount, but the truth of the matter is that really its whether you can stop – which it sounds judging by what you wrote, your husband can’t. That said 50 pints a week is a huge amount to be putting away – I’m no doctor but at some stage that will have a serious impact on his health.

The other impact is of course on you and the kids where his alcohol consumption is affecting relationships it seems?

I should also take into account that lockdown is affecting people in so many ways negatively, perhaps this has opened up the underlying problem even more

Before I sobered up I had a pre conceived notion of what an alcoholic was – which was basically a homeless guy on a bench drinking turps. The reality is actually far different. I myself have always been employed in the city, played sports and did the gym but had no control over how much and often I drank. I now know I was in complete denial – so much so I couldn’t see the damage I was doing to myself and everyone I came into contact with. I only accepted it after hitting rock bottom and being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

The challenge is that unless your husband recognises that problem and wants to get help, or change, then you will likely find that you just end up butting heads. I know I blamed everyone else before I sorted myself out as I didn’t want to admit it or face it.

The good news is that if he does get to that stage there are a ton of self help groups online right now where he can listen and perhaps get identification with other people in the same boat. There are also groups that help families of alcoholics also.

I’m being super careful here not to diagnose him btw – I believe the person themselves has to do that part.

Hope that makes some sense

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