[chellebee]

I have used cocaine for around 10 years but my mum died in April I went crazy on it every day spending 200 on an 8th staying up for days and the inevitable has happened I’ve a hole in my nose it was a tiny one at the top last week unnoticable and I haven’t had any cocaine since that night i found it but I blew my nose yesterday and a load more skin has come away it’s not the actual septum it’s the soft skin this time but it looks big I’ve bought a saline spray to avoid further damage bit I can’t find any antibiotic ointments that I can just buy to help it quick I can’t go to the doctors it’s not an option at all, help please will it get worse if I don’t have cocaine again? Can I heal that skin? The hole through the septum is tiny the skin however looks bad in one of my nostrils and I’m so scared

[danman83]

Think you really do need get to the docs. Or are you worried about your job or something like this?

It will get worse if you have it again.. obviously.. but your an addict and do you really want to make it worse? Id get help for the addiction aswell.

[chellebee]

Thanks for your reply i have an adopted kid hes my nephrw but i adopted him as a baby he’s just turned 4 last week i also have a 3 year old son of my own and now that my mum just died I have taken my 6 year old neice that she had custody of I need to get full custody of her so I couldn’t go to the doctors as they ask for full medical disclosure I only ever used it recreationally but since April I’ve gone crazy on it my mum died and my dad died before her and we have no other family I was her carer for 3 years I had to arrange all the funeral myself and sort her house her finances everything it just really was the only way i saw through it I feel like such a failure to her and my kids which was making it worse but I’m on my own and it’s hard I’ve never had a babysitter or a break from them so i started having it at weekends when they were in bed and lately it’s escalated since mum I haven’t had it for a week now since I saw the first hole

[danman83]

Try not to beat yourself up about it. You have admitted you have a problem which is good. I get why you dont want to go to the docs and i dont blame you. But if it gets worse, id go the hospital.

It sounds like you have underlying problems from your parents passing away , to why your having so much. Which you obviously know. So could you not go to your docs and ask for some bereavement councilling. That would be a good start

I have a coke problem as well. Im having it once a month and ive cut down alot and ive learned a lot of coping skills you could say to help me.

So what you need to do and do it asap.

Delete all dealers nums, friends who use, fam who use. Come off social media! Im not on fb or insta. Believe me you feel better. That stuff is poison.

No alcohol what so ever as this leads to coke! Avoid places were you picked up coke!

Do you know what though, you should be proud of yourself, with the children you are taking on. Not many people would. Turn your negatives in to positives. This is great what you are doing. These kids need you. Believe in your self, tommorow is a new day and start thinking positive.

You need now to do some new hobbies are something to replace the coke. Write a list down and do them each day, especially when u get cravings. Walk, park, paint with the kids. Build things with the kids.

Its perfect for you this now, you can do so many activities with the kids to keep you busy.

Weekends when they are in bed, read a book or something or tv series binge. To keep your mind active. I listen to cocaine recovery stories on you tube they help alot.

I guess when your a few month clean then get your nose sorted. Then if any problems you can do a test and prove your clean. But do not use anymore because of your nose. Feel free to ask me anything

[chellebee]

Thankyou so much everything you’ve said has made me feel a bit better I am absolutely surrounded by people either drinking a lot or on crack or coke it’s everywhere and it’s been so easy to get it on tick people just dropping 8ths and quarters off as soon as I ask benefits and downfalls of being a good payer, I would like to move from the general area really but my 4 year old just started school yesterday and I’ve got my neice into the same school so it’s too much change for them right now and yeah i suppose its the lonliness of having no support really am the youngest only one of all my friends who has even lost a parent let alone both of them so noone ever know what to say to me so they avoid me now and i end up feeling sorry for myself and getting on the phone but I’m definitely going to follow your advice, the you tube stories sound like something I want to listen to aswell this hole has been a blessing in disguise for me I suppose now as it’s give me a kick up the arse really I’m so glad it’s not noticeable, I would normally have got some by now so I’m trying to keep busy and not think about it. Well done to you aswell that’s amazing what you’ve done it’s really not easy is it where you using for a long time?

[danman83]

8 to 10 year.. not everyday or every week really. Just every couple of week. Some weekends it use be in a row. But its the downers and suicidal thoughts i cant cope with. And knowing i could of spent that money on my kids.

Every one u know to do with crack or coke. Delete and block there nums now. Take different routes walking even, so u dont bump in to people or places u have picked up. Dont associate with them. I know its hard. But it has to be done.

Download an app called pocket rehab. Its a bit like face book. But everyone is an addict or ex. And they help.each other. Its great!

[chellebee]

I will do thankyou so much for your help and again well done on your journeyband good luck I’ll check in and see how u are and update u on my process if u dont mind so much ur the first person ive spoke to about it and it’s really refreshing not feeling like a creature for once

[danman83]

Ye course. Dont worry about. Do as much searching about cocaine and recovery.

Look up emotional and mental, physical relapse aswell. But just keep an eye on your nose.

[chellebee]

I will do thanku ????

[mark165205]

Try not to worry too much , a small hole in your septum can remain trouble free, only you will know it’s there.

I have been an absolute **** as I had a huge hole in my nose and had an operation to repair it on the NHS, and what did I go and do a week after my op? Yup, stated snorting like I’d never snorted before and now have a hole big enough to put my finger through – I won’t get a second chance but all I can say is stop using now, the hole will grow much larger in a short space of time if you continue to snort coke. Even with a huge hole in my nose I continue to use as I’ve pretty much given up on life, don’t make the same mistakes as me

[chellebee]

Thanks @mark I was a dick myself and had some at weekend I only had about 4 grams but still I’m so disappointed in myself again. I’m so sorry that u feel like uve given up on life that’s really sad u clearly aren’t a shit or u wouldn’t be on here trying to give advice to people like me would u please think about the good things about urself u tried to stop and that says a lot whether u managed it or not u still tried theres still time, I probs sound like am preaching here coz I’m in the same boat but it isn’t nice that u feel like that none should feel like that ????

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