[woh]

I’ve been searching multiple forums for advice and anyone with a story similar to mine but with not much luck.

My partner and I have been together well over a decade, we’re not married and don’t have children (partly due to his drinking I couldn’t put myself or a child in that situation). He’s always been a drinker, a lot of the time using it to cope with anxiety, and over the years I found myself joining him in after work binges.

We moved to a new town far away from all our friends and family and both work from home. Since the move he’s increasingly isolating himself, almost all of his drinking happens at home during the day, he has no friends or anyone who would really notice the state he gets into except myself. At it’s worst point he was getting through a bottle of spirits a day, it’s slightly less than that now but not much. I love him a lot and he can be very loving and considerate (on paper he’s the perfect boyfriend) which is why I’m trying to stick it out and help him work through his issues, but he refuses to seek outside help and won’t go to the doctor for anything in case they notice anything or he has to have a blood test.

If I leave I’m afraid he will go into a deep spiral – although i know that I can’t blame myself if he does. It doesn’t feel appropriate ‘outing’ him to his family but I don’t see any way he can hit rock bottom and realise how bad his problem is when he’s very careful to not be around other people and be seen for what he is.

I feel horribly lonely and with no marriage, kids, job or mortgage to keep me here I wonder why I’m still putting up with it? I’d love to hear from anyone who’s in or been in a similar situation.

[icarus-trust]

Hi WOH,

I’m so sorry to read your post and hear how isolated and alone you feel whilst having to cope with your partner’s drinking.

I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We are set up to offer support to people like yourselves, who are having to deal with the affects of a partner’s addictive behaviour. We know how hard this can be. If you feel it would be helpful, please contact us and we will put you in touch with one of our experienced trained volunteers who you could talk with. Maybe this would help you to find a way forward and not to feel so alone.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

Wishing you all the best.

[kwa]

hi ,im new to this site but reading your story seems like you are describing me , it has made me realise what my partner must have been going through, she has just left me so who knows where life will take me next , thanks for the story though.

[Author]

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