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As a sister of an almost lifelong addict (drugs) younger brother, who later took his life, and with a son who struggles with alcohol misuse – over 50 years of trauma, what I would says is this: Look after #1 first, always, always.
The best possible thing is your son leaving. This gives you more space and peace, which is essential to our mental health. Our loved ones (and we still love them a bit, don’t we?) have to sort themselves out. Some will end up homeless. Unless they get professional help for their addiction, they’re likely to do everything and anything to continue using. This is simply the end result of addiction: the booze/and or drugs have taken over and the need for the daily hit consumes them. Addiction is very natural, because the substance replaces our natural dopamine and many can’t live without the fake dopamine.
There is help here, and on other forums. Make sure you change your locks, hold your head high and reassure yourself that you did your best. 90% of the families I know have been affected by addiction, but most are too ashamed to talk about it. I do: quietly, because it enables other people to share their worries.
You deserve peace, never forget that!
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