[jmum]

my son has been smoking weed for at least 5 years, he dropped out of school, despite being really bright. I am worried he has mental health problems. He has a criminal record relating to his drug use, has stolen off us and his brother, lies, is manipulative, is currently in breach of his bail, he doesn’t work, he left home at 16 but had left emotionally way before then, he used to stay out overnight and has done since he was fairly young, it was a real worry but eventually you become to expect the behaviour and when 1 night turns into 2 or 3 it seems normal. We have made excuses for him, given him money, kidded ourselves into thinking the stories he made up about needing money were true and have enabled him for a long time. We have just started to say no to him and it’s really tough. He threatens suicide, he tells me tonight he is going to start walking 100miles tomorrow because he has nowhere to go, hasn’t eaten for 5 days and hasn’t showered and has a friend with a tent he can share in this city. I have offered him a shower and food but will not give him money – which ultimately is what he is asking for. I expect daily a telephone call to tell me he has had an accident, overdosed or been successful in taking his own life – although he is very selfish and I try to convince myself he just tells me he is going to kill himself so that I give in and give him money and he wouldn’t really do this. I don’t know how to help him and have tried to protect myself and my family so that we can get through whatever he brings to the door next but it is really tough.

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