[victoria68]

Hi everyone I’ve never done this before, I’m just so heartbroken over my bf on/off heroin addiction which is very much on at the moment .I’ve been in a on off relationship with him for 8 years .I’m 53 he’s 46 and he’s the love of my life . We have been up n down the whole relationship and is only the last year he has started to open up about his drug / alcohol problems and ironically our relationship is the most stable it’s ever been. He relies on me. These days a lot . He also suffers depression since his teenage years as does the addiction problems stem from a unhappy childhood though he had loving parents .

When I met him he had been clean from heroin about 12 years . He had been married had children and his ex wife had helped him do this as well as a methadone program .

He had a responsible job . And was newly single . But I think he was in a way self medicating with alcohol .our early days were just weekends having a drink me I’m just a social drinker . I didn’t realize he had a problem not at first . Well we bumbled on year after year on and off .me having enough of the verbal abuse when he had to much to drink and ending it. was just a self destructive pattern .but I’ve always been at the end of the phone if he needed to talk . Gradually over the last 2 years he’s started to say I’m only one who’s been there through thick n thin and he wanted to work on his problems and us to have a proper committed relationship . True to his word he got help for alcohol we talked endlessly about his childhood . He has been repeatedly to docs to try n find a suitable ant depressant that worked for him .he had to leave his job a couple years ago cos of his mental health and back problems . And is now on pip and other benefits.then last year heroin was back rearing it ugly head but he again like12 yrs ago he went onto a methadone program when he realised it was gaining a hold on him . And because he had only started using for a few weeks prior he just shortcut it and was of methadone and clean in around 3 months against the drug workers advice .

I was so proud of him but like most addicts I think one addiction is replaced by another and he started to drink more . But exercise like crazy bike rides running etc . Then April of last year he was reported anonymous to DVLA about his methadone which he was off when he got his car .licence revoked for a year . Since getting licence back means a DVLA medical since last April he has worked so hard on all his problems and done so well the year is nearly up and now for some reason known only to himself he’s back using for the last month . And I can’t understand why .when he’s on cusp of getting freedom back with his car .meaning hopefully depending on covid he can take his daughter camping which they love to do . We booked a holiday abroad for October in hope of being able to go ..we have so much to look forward to and hes risking it all for heroin . He doesn’t inject which I’m thankful for if there is even a positive ! But I can see slowly it’s consuming him .he saying he’s in control of it .that he can go couple days without .he wouldn’t be using again if DVLA hadn’t tool his licence because his mental health. Over the last year has suffered because he’s had no way of just going out and escaping

This week he decided to stop

We don’t live together and live around 9 miles apart so he paid his bills and transferred all his money to my account . That was Monday . Yesterday he text asking me to transfer 20 to get food and he would send me receipts etc to prove he bought food .you guessed it no receipt picture

We agreed beginning of week no matter how much he asked for money I was to be strong and not send him . Today he wanted me to transfer what he had left on my account .for 3-4 hours I had endless messages each time I said no .. then was pleading and begging. Different excuses different reasons for needing it still stuck to my guns . Then the threats to come to my workplace and get the money started and I gave in and compromised on the amount .but I feel so bad on givingin so easy . And I know tomorrow it will probably start all over again for the remaining money and I feel so stressed .

I love this man so much how do I help him ?

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