[unsure2021]

This seems to be my outlet because I feel like I’m going mad these days , told him last night I’m done with being loving as I get nothing back , so today he called at lunch asking why he never woke up to his morning text , then he been calling through the day chatting nice n normal no cheekiness or being cruel, fast forward to tonight he keeps making comments about him being a bad bxxxxxd and will just get worse and how he loves it I said why dyou want to be taht way he said well leave if you don’t like it , I said if you don’t want to be with me then just say don’t treat me badly so I walk away and he hung up the phone , my head is a mess I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it ,don’t know why he doesn’t want to be with me or why he just won’t tell me , he says I wouldn’t let him go if he did and I said no if you don’t want to be with me then ill let you go I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me back but then he carrya on like normal so I genuinelu feel like I’m going off my head

[unsure2021]

Well the bitch best friend is back ,he jumped out his bed this morning gave me a call ,then called me this afternoon he with her out having lunch and getting a drink they’ve been shopping all the things he can’t do with me , so anyway fair enough then he calls an hour ago they sitting in a pub taking coke he had even given her a free gram lol I can’t even get a box of chocolates, seemingly they trying to find a dealer to get more ,I’m sat here absolutely raging wishing nothing but badness on her hoping she takes a bad bag , and this is not the person I an he is destroying everything good about me I have written a it’s done text about 40 times now and just can’t seem to send it , I hate the hold she and coke have over him , I won’t hear from him now cos they will be partying all night , I hate life right now I hate that I love him I hate taht I ever met him

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