[lostallcontrol]

Discovered this forum on my usual guilt trip after another little coke binge 🙁 been reading the threads and surprised at how many mirror what I’m feeling and going through.. which is refreshing and encouraging and a little bit sad as it confirms I have a big problem!!don’t even know where to start couldn’t even try get it all out but to cut to the point I’m a 34 year old mum of 3 and I’ve got myself too into cocaine. I’ve been a drug user from my teens mostly social it was always around me .. I began self medicating and abusing drugs and hit a rock bottom I was sectioned and received help for my mental health and issues from my past built myself back up and began using occasionally in social environments again never was a problem with come downs or money or craving.. I don’t know what’s has happened I started at weekends wee binge with my partner then I was taking a wee bit home using it to go on a cleaning spree coz it gave me energy feel I’m on a really good spot in my life but I’m getting a 2/3 grams everyday sneaking round my house taking lines ..I’m addicted!!! The lies the money the sneaking it’s not who I wanna be .. All the years and all the rough spots in my life drugs were in the background but I could take or leave them this is only a recent thing we’re im buying everyday maybe 4 months I need help I can’t go down the professional help route as I don’t want social workers back in my life … just need tips on when I get that craving how to ignore it and get control back .. this is the surface of what’s going on I’m new to this it’s hard to get it all out and make sense…

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