[luhorna]

Hi had A tough couple of months , was supporting partner by keeping an eye On him and doing drug tests, my boundaries were if I find out he’s took coke again he’s out.. it happened so we split up.

Two weeks on and we’re going to try and make it work.. He loves me and I love him and for all I hate this life atm I don’t want to throw it all away and I can’t see myself with any my one else for all I could do a hell of a lot better ..

has anyone been in this situation? .. will it work?

I’m willing to try because I love him so much.

He’s wanting a see on how much our relationship is going to take a step back.. I’ve said nothings clear at the moment, we need to concentrate on the here and now,and take each day as it comes I need to start seeing that he is committed to change… So basically ive told him if you want a date with me fine .. ask, if you want a day out with me and the kids altogether that’s fine too .. if you want to spend the night fine but only if I you havnt been taking and your willing to do a test and also my kids are not here .. I just said I really don’t know what will happen.. all I know is I’m in the position now where I can walk away and my kids won’t be affected by anything, he’s not happy about it but understands .. am I doing the right thing?

[kel1]

Sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’d suggest having a read on here which may give you some insight from others (wives/partners etc). Everyone is different, and every relationship is different, however that drug cocaine is the devil drug and from what I know of it and in my own experience it just literally destroys people and their families!

I went through hell! Actual hell and ended up having a break down trying to support/stick with an addict (cocaine). They turn into monsters! If he wants to get help and change then good for him and you, and I hope it lasts! But he’d need to be in some sort of robust programme for support! Cravings for that drug is ridiculous!

Have a read up about it – also some good information on YouTube about the affects of cocaine etc.

Best of luck and take care because you’re gonna need it.

[daniela]

I’m in a similar situation also. Was giving drug tests for a couple months that my partner always failed. He would make promises to quit, which seemed to do the opposite. He’s staying with family now because I told him I can’t live in the same house as him when he’s doing drugs.

I think it’s good to set your own boundaries in order to keep yourself from going crazy. At the end of the day, we’re going crazy over someone else’s actions. It’s like we’re so focused on their life, that we forget to focus on our own.

No idea if sticking around is the right answer, but I guess there’s always hope that things might get better.

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