[dannig20]

Since my last post, things had been much better with my boyfriend, until today..he came back from work, visibly hammered. He said he’d had a fall at work so had to get taxi home, so needed £10 to pay the taxi. I couldn’t see a taxi outside, but he said they dropped him round the corner. At this point, I knew all I was gonna get was lies. I asked whether he’d been drinking, which he completely denied, despite a positive alcohol test (don’t ask, but he’s driven me to it after months of lying). He admitted a few weeks ago that he has a drink problem, and told me he’d admit to me if he’d been drinking again & wouldn’t lie to me…well that soon went out the window :(. To top it off, this afternoon he has said some really nasty & hurtful things to me. He’s really shown his true vile side to me & isn’t the man I fell in love with anymore :(. I don’t even know what I’m asking, but just needed someone to talk to cos I can’t talk to my family as they already hate him. I suppose I just don’t understand how someone can deny they’ve been drinking when they stink of booze, have dilated pupils, are slurring their words & even after a positive alcohol test?!

[stef5555]

Hey I just joined and I’m a male that’s had enoug of being messed up

[dannig20]

Hi. Sorry to hear that :(. I don’t know any councillors or much about getting help tbh. It’s really good that you’re acknowledging you need to speak to someone though :). Someone replied on my other post and gave lots of tips about dealing with addiction though, like keeping occupied, youtube videos, apps etc, so don’t know whether any of that would help you?

[danman83]

You alright now danni? I guess he had that friday feeling and just wanted go go smashed. But thats no excuse.

Did he stay at home or go back out?

I guess you need to start to think about yourself really. . If hes not even trying to stop, do you really want to keep putting up with this and worrying. Have u got kids?

[dannig20]

I’m ok thanks, just getting very fed up with it all now 🙁 how are you doing? Yeah he must have done..he did stay at home from about 4 onwards when he came back. He just ended up sleeping it off tbh. Exactly, think I need to start being a bit selfish, cos the constant worrying isn’t doing me any good :(. The only reason I gave him the benefit of the doubt is coz he said he’d get help..he has got a drs appointment booked, but whether or not he’ll mention the drinking or not I don’t know. I think if the appointment was a week or so ago, then he would have, but he seems to be in denial again 🙁

[stef5555]

Do you know any councillors as I need to speak to someone

[spaced229]

Have you spoken to Al-anon friends and family?

[dannig20]

No I haven’t, what’s that?

[spaced229]

Home

Could help x

[danman83]

Im doing good. Didnt have anything last night. My phone was locked away. I feel soooo fresh and happy lol. It feels so much better the next day not using the night before. God knows why i do it.

Is he drinking everyday then? How was he pissed at 4pm? If u dont mind me asking what job does he do?

Go with him to the docs then. Im sure they gave my mate some medication for his drinking to ease it or stop it. With cocaine theres no medication for it. I guess its even harder saying as alcohol is everywere.

Tell him your going out tonight with a mate and hes got to babysit lol

[dannig20]

Ahhh good, you should be really pleased with yourself, especially on a weekend. And it must be nice feeling so fresh and being able to properly enjoy spending time with your kids :). Do you mind me asking how it works with your partner locking you phone away? Not sure what’s happening with my bf & coke, but he did admit that he still gets calls etc from drug dealers yesterday, so I’d like to try and get rid of that temptation. However, I have told him maybe he should get a new number for a fresh start, but know he could still get hold of them if he really wanted.

I’m not sure..I know he was probably drinking most days back in December-February time when it was really bad. I suspect he drank Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week, but admittedly the only time he seemed drunk was yesterday. He’s currently working cash in hand as a roofer, so easier to not work every day I suppose or be tempted with a pocket full of cash.

Think I’ll have to go with him, but got no one to baby sit the little one & worried it’ll look bad taking him with us :(. Ohhh really, that’s good to know about the medication. Fingers crossed they’ll do something similar with him, just hope that doesn’t drive him back to coke.

Tbf, every other Saturday night he stays with family & looks after his little girl (from a previous relationship) & my mum comes round to spend some time with my baby. Is it bad that I’d worry about him on his own if I did go out though?

[danman83]

Well i use mostly on a fri night after 7.. so she ask for my phone at 5pm. And locks it in a safe i got off ebay. With my car keys.

Sometimes ill lock it away my self as she has a key.

I get text of random dealers now and again when i have just randomly got it off then. But the 2nd they text i reply back.. my mum is having this phone back. Plz dont text it again.. ill save it to my new phone.

But its got to be soon as you read that text, then delete the message and call history. Because the longer its there, the longer u dwell on it.

I asked about the job, and i was right what i was thinking.. that he does some trade job with the lads.. my mates a roofer, he sells it.. he has it at work, they all go for drinks after as well. His mates have it at work as well.

Im not saying he has it at work. Im just saying if your with other lads, and one of them brings it in work or says.. come for a drink and that. Hes gonna. Its all about cutting people off around you who have it. And if his work mates are at it, its gonna be hard. But then again they might not lol.

But its everywere.

No its not bad at all, it means you care.

My kisses would go out and wouldnt care haha. But she just locks my phone away. Ive asked her to stay in with me for a month and just be on my case so i get a month out of the way clean..

It gets easier after a month. But.. you think you are ok after 3 month or 6 month.. and you tell yourself.. 1 little bag wont harm me or beer. But truth is, you never will be.

Drugs and alcohol effect people differently. Some like my gf can just take it when they want and say no when they want. Then there are the others who just keep going and going. Its a disease at the end of the day and some people laugh at that, but it really is.

Im not to sure if i told you. But watch a video on you tube, search louise clarke, part 1 2 3. Shes an expert on crack and cocaine and has helped so many addicts. She goes deep in to it why we get addicted and to beat it. I bought her book as well and it helps. Its worth a watch. Even you watch it if you can so you can get an idea of it all.

[dannig20]

Ahhh I see. Good on you cos that must be difficult..but at the end of the day, if it helps you then it’s worth it.

That’s a good way to deal with the texts off the dealers, do they listen to that & stop texting? I’ve never seen any texts so know he deletes them straight away..but the only reason I knew is I’d seen a random number on his call history so he admitted it was one of them calling him :(. Dunno if they normally call or whether that was dodgy & was him arranging to meet them etc.

Ahhhh ok! Tbh he’s from a different town originally, and has admitted that in his old town 90% off the roofing companies do drugs & sell it. But he’s always told me this company in my town doesn’t, but whether or not I should believe him is a different story lol. But I know they do have a drink after work, so even if there’s no coke, there’s gonna be temptation from alcohol.

Fair play to her haha, and sure I’ll be the same in a few months time. Fingers crossed you’ll get that first month out the way, cos you do seem really determined.

I agree about it being a disease, and it’s the only thing that makes me hold on tbh, cos I know he isn’t hurting me on purpose :(.

I can’t remember if you told me about the video before, but it does look really good. Thanks.

[danman83]

Ye they do.. but there is some 1 i know really close to me i cant say on here who. Ive told them ignore me.. but they dont. But i do my best to avoid them.

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