[fritturica]

I’m breaking up with my partner who is addicted to cocaine. We tried everything, therapy etc.. it didn’t worked, he lied and used drugs behind my back.. I know he will never change, he alwyas used so much drugs in his life, he can’t and wont change, I guess. It’s so hard to break up but it’s needed. I would be a fool being with him, giving him another chance, that’s enough. He will never put me above drugs, I need to take back my life after years in this circle.

[irchem]

I have just ended it with my boyfriend after a long exhausting 2 years. He’s been to private therapy funded by his parents and we even went to couples counselling.

I’ve kicked him out countless times and had him back time after time but with the sane outcome. Cocaine has won! I do understand addiction so much more now as I’ve educated myself about it, I had little to no understanding at the beginning of the relationship.

His addiction has ruined me but it’s ultimately ruining him more, everyday. It’s easy to say to people oh just leave, walk away but you do feel that guilt of abandoning them.

If he were to take an extreme amount of cocaine and died I know that’s not my responsibility, guilt I would absolutely feel but responsibility absolutely not.

He knows the path he should take and at times has wanted to continue on it but that drug just pulls him back.. I’ve left the door open as such to say if you decide you want help, I’ll always support you and I will always love you. But no more!! He’s at his parents now and I’m trying so hard to focus on me. My mental health has suffered significantly.

We all have to reach our limit, I’m relieved I’ve reached mine x

[fritturica]

Oh Irchem I can really feel you! I understand you so much! These relationships will leave a wound in our hearts! I hope you will find yourself again, and feeling better.. I don’t even know if I can ever date someone again.. To me went a little differently, after years of fights, coversations, relapses, therapy etc.. he decided he’s done with all this trying, and literally told he will always be adicted and he will never change, take or loose. That’s it. And if I don’t like, too bad, bye.

Literally he loves more cocaine than me.

So sad.

[irchem]

Then he’s given in to the addiction as it’s easier for him to keep trying. My ex won’t even admit he has a problem even though he’s been to rehab. It’s like the problem was fixed and he’s cured. It’s an illness, forever. So heartbreaking and it drains on your every emotion x

[sb2020]

I keep trying to convince myself he’ll change but he won’t even admit to still taking it, I was cleaning the bedside drawers out yesterday and found a few knots ( with a little cocaine in them ) in the draw so search and found a crack pipe too. I’ve not even bothered to say anything to him yet as I know he’ll deny it..say something like they are from awhile ago or something similar but as I only took him back a couple of months ago it’s completely impossible. He’ll never admit it to me, I’ve tried telling him he can talk to me if he feels like he needs or want it but he doesn’t, I honestly don’t think he wants to stop taking it and doesn’t care if he loses me otherwise he’d at least try and hide it from me.

[fritturica]

I’m sorry to hear that.. It really sounds like my story.. He will never admit, is true.. But I can tell you, is not because of you, don’t put it on yourself.. he will never change, for sure, not even for you, not even for someone else.. that thing is bigger than him.. Unfortunately it’s very easy to start to think that they will never change not even for us, so that’s mean they don’t love us enough.. is not like this, is just that people can’t change, especially people who has an addiction.. It’s up to us to choose what is better for us, what we want, and deserve for our lives.

I rally start to realise that people are what they are, we can’t change people, it’s gonna be hard and sad, but you will feel better afterwards!

[frankie]

My husband is an alcoholic and coke addict. We started sober October together to help him. He’s already started again. Became irritable, walked out & on it all again. I don’t know what to do. From the discussions on this forum it seems impossible to change them. As you all say the coke comes first. Sometimes I feel I have the strength to deal with it but not the strength to tell him to get out. He’s ruining my life. I’ve just found out he’s stolen £400 from my bank & spent it on drugs. It’s all so selfish, I feel the same as everyone here worn out & unable to even cry anymore.

[fritturica]

Oh Frankie I really feel you! I’m sorry to hear to you are going trough.. What I can tell you is: you DON’T need to have strength to deal with him, that’s completely okay and understandable, because nobody should be in that way responsible for someone else life, and have to deal with this.. I know it’s not easy at all, he is still your husband, but we did not come into the world to deal with this.. This is not our responsibility and duty, to change someone who doesn’t want to change.

I think you should think about it, and believe me, there is always a solution to everything, and you deserve to be happy..

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