[Narlem2023]

<p style=”margin: 0px 0px 1rem; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; color: #183264; vertical-align: baseline; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: none; word-wrap: break-word; caret-color: #183264; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>Hello.</p>
<p style=”margin: 0px; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; color: #183264; vertical-align: baseline; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: none; word-wrap: break-word; caret-color: #183264; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>I hope everyone is well. I’m just looking for some wisdom or reassurance that I’m not doing the wrong thing. I have been with my partner for 7 years – we were due to get married in September. We’ve had a Rocky few years with infertility but we were gearing up for a second round of IVF this year. My partner had always been a big drinker we met when we were 21/24 so it was always a part of our socialisation. However in November last year i found 14 bottles of spirits hidden and that’s when it became apparent that my partner had an issue. He said it was just a one off as he was struggling however due to withdrawal seizures he was hospitalised for detox.  In February unfortunately the same thing happened again and he stopped breathing due to 6 seizures back to back… at this point he admitted he was an alcoholic and entered a detox, AA and weekly support meetings. He was sober for 3 months but relapsed last week, I hit breaking point and made the decision that our wedding could not go ahead. Due to his risk of DT’s if he relapsed again he has been advised to go to rehab. Our whole life has come crashing down, he is the most beautiful person and partner but the thought of him hurting me through relapse again is too hard to think about. I have ended the relationship in hope that he will focus on managing this illness for himself but it has broken my heart as I didn’t want the relationship to end. But I know if I carried on he would only be doing it for me, which isn’t enough…have I done the right thing? Or drove him into an even worse position?</p>

[Ahurtwife]

My lovely I am just about to do the same thing. My husband has a big problem with cocaine and alcohol. I have found out in the last 6 months that the cocaine has been an issue gor many years and it appears it was not a secret to many people. I can’t take any more lies or deceit. I have no doubt made it worse by not kicking up over unpaid bills and financial contributions to our children or our house/lives. Or the non-parenting of our children. I am filing for divorce to protect my children and me. I really can’t take any more.

Have you seen tge documentary on the BBC?? It does show things from both perspectives,  but, the addict needs to recognise that they have a problem and they want help? I may have it wrong.

Good luck, and from what I have read here over tge last 6 months is that you have to protect yourself, because no-one else will xxx

[Author]

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