[dexter2015]

In February I left my husband because of his alcohol dependancy. We have been together 6 years.

Our first year together was amazing but because we weren’t living together I didn’t see the extent of his drinking. It started to show itself when we moved in together. I always hoped he would reach a day when he would say ‘right this needs to stop’ but he hasn’t and I am not sure he ever will.

I’ve had to support him emotionally and financially. We had some great times, but there were so many nights when he had drunk too much and would turn on me at the slightest thing. He would verbally abuse me, turning everything I said against me until I felt like I was in the wrong and not him. It was exhausting and soul destroying.

So many times he would use the threat that he was going to leave – he never did because he couldn’t afford to and and had nowhere to go. In the morning he would always apologise and say he didn’t mean it. In the end I left because I couldn’t cope with the drinking, compulsive lying, verbal abuse and not knowing what person was going to walk in the house, the lovely man or the horrible monster. I have a teenage son that he would also verbally abuse, I had to get him out of the toxic situation.

We are still in contact and I miss him terribly. I wish he would seek help but he gets so defensive and angry every time I mention it, he won’t accept that he needs it.

I feel like I have failed him. I worry that my friends and family think I am stupid for staying with him as long as I did. I hate that this was my second marriage and it has also failed but I didn’t do anything wrong. Does anyone relate to this?

[r7byrne]

Hi

Can relate to what you are going through when you say you feel like you have failed him. I’ve had to leave my partner because of his drinking and I have teenage child to think of as well so I feel like I have failed him by leaving when he needs me too as he lost his Dad 6 months ago, but hes turned into an alcoholic 🙁

I do feel for you, you have to put yourself and your child first which I understand is very hard when you love someone. Remember time is a healer x

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