[nooneyouknow]

A one person hurricane. That speaks volumes. I feel I have a similar effect on those around me. I hope you can find a solutionm. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[holton]

Sounds like your having a awful time , I’ve had many of those over the years with my sons addiction to cocaine. It’s a lonely place to be in at times as any other illness you can talk about freely but I find it difficult as not many people know my situation. I’ve had too many embarrassing situations caused by him my skin is like a rhino now . It’s a horrible drug. I’m sorry I can’t give you any useful advice. I should be able to I had years of experience but I have no answers. I muddle through one calamity to the next . One thing I learnt was not to take anything he says to heart anymore. I used to get so upset when he said hurtful things etc but I’ve learnt to not respond and I suppose it’s easier for me I can leave he doesn’t live with me . Hope everything settles down for you. The nights are always worse I find. Sorry not much help but wish you well.

[sunnyskies]

Thanks Holton

With most things in life, there is usually an answer. This is different as it’s very personal and there is not a magic bullet.

Your right, best thing is just to ignore the abuse, although I have picked him up a few times and told him ‘I don’t like being spoken to in that manner’. I’ve found the best way is to be firm, and point out his language is unacceptable. I usually walk away after that and don’t get drawn into a he said, she said scenario. Gives him time to think about it … although it only works when he’s not wired to the moon.

[sunnyskies]

Thanks nooneyouknow

Ye, it’s tough. The reason I’m still here is that I keep telling myself it’s the effects of the drug and not the person.

I think we all get into this downward spiral … he uses, I get more protective, which causes him to use again ….. and the cycle continues.

Trying to stay calm and not get into a blame game. I know he will feel terrible inside …. but he would never admit it. Kinda guy that would rip off his nose to spite his face.

I hope you manage to to work things out. I think we all just want our loved one back.

[holton]

Yes when I was new to all this many moons ago I used to make the mistake of arguing with him it took a while until it dawned on me I’m arguing with the drug not him. Now I find it better to wait until he’s not high or coming down which is a art in its self. He used to ask me to stay at his but one time he was really verbally aggressive to me and I did draw the line and I’ve stayed since . It was a hard decision but no one should be treated like that and all his excuses didn’t make it acceptable. Hope all works out well for you.

[sunnyskies]

Lol, it’s definitely an art. I call it the moment the Duracel bunny runs out of battery.

[holton]

Lol I’d like his to run out a lot more ! I wish he was on pound shop battery’s and not duracel!

[sunnyskies]

Even better if we could just hide the batteries x

[holton]

That would be fantastic. No more batteries. That could be my new code word . Batteries. I do have to speak in code a lot . thank you for the chat and actually managing to smile it’s been a bad day . Hope you get some sleep x

[daisy12]

Wow this sounds very similar to the situation I’ve encountered. I’m so sorry your going through this and it’s horrendous from what you’ve mentioned the arguing and the abuse and abusive messages.

When he normal does he regret what he done? Apologise or says you should?

Your right to call him out on his behaviour!

I have also seen this and experienced it. Substituting one for another it’s mental is it addictive personalities or just purely one addiction to another. When you mention psychotic behaviour what kind of things? Just wondered as help me make sense of some irractic behaviour?

Sounds like your very strong individual! Any suggestions on what I could do? I know it takes it toll time to time doesn’t it on people/loves ones?

[Author]

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