[careaboutyou]

Hi Aldritt,

So sorry for you and the situation that you’re in. I do understand as my late husband was an alcoholic. It was like living in the eye of the storm, I had to leave with my son eventually, after 5 years of trying everything to help him.

It’s selfish, addictive behaviour and you’re right she is a Mum….. but she’s not being their Mum is she? You are doing everything you can. You need to leave with your children, as you say before they are old enough to understand what is going on and they become damaged by her behaviour. You also must take care of yourself so that you can continue to be a good Father to them. Thank goodness that they have a good man like you.

My advice is; tell your family and friends what is going on ( it’s her shame, not yours ), make plans to split up, this will mean selling the house if you own it, giving notice on a lease on a rented property. If you are in a council property then I don’t know but there must be some way that you can tell the authorities what’s going on and get re-housed. Whatever it is, there is a way and you can do it. She won’t change I’m afraid.

You have to think of your children and your own well being. You all deserve better than this, she will have to fend for herself. Come on……having weed delivered by post to the family home with your children there! In what universe is this ok??? Keep a diary of her behaviour, how much she is smoking and when. Also list everything that you are doing and what she is not doing. You will have to go for custody.

I admire you as you think that you’ve been doing the right thing up until now, keeping it all together, by doing everything whilst she bales out of any responsibility, but the right thing to do is to leave and protect your children and yourself from this toxic environment. When you separate, it sounds like she will have to have supervised access only if she is not capable of looking after the children.

Wishing you great strength and courage. There is a better life, after this mayhem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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