[help86]

Hi. I’m pretty new to this so apologies if I sound a bit silly.

History.. myself and my partner had a very exciting start, socialising drinking. I guess looking back I was silly to thibk he was caughte up in the fun of dating and actually I was dating an alcoholic. After a few months I suggested alcohol free days when we met as it struck me he still drank when I didn’t. Over the last 2 years it’s been intimitant with alcohol and any agreement we have come to ( he has just probably been agreeing) has lapsed. I’ve definitely seen massive I improvements, from 10 plus pints a night to maybe one alcohol free day a week, 2/ 3 with maybe 2-4 pints and the rest might be around 10.

My concern is when he drinks less or none he is almost ‘ in a mood’ like I’m the party pooper. Another concern is that he has taken cocaine. I told him on occasion I’m not sure I have a problem but bought it up with him once I found him doing it on a week night when it was just us at home. He said he thought I didn’t have a problem, but seeing as it upset me he wouldn’t do it again. Since then I know he has done it 3 more times ( in 6 weeks). I’ve confronted him each time. Each time the same thing…. Saying it’s not a problem, it’s just a line.

I’m certain he does it once a week that I know of and sneaks off to do it. It’s like he can restrain himself for a few days Infront of me and then ‘needs’ blow out.im trying to support him bit feel like I’m in some sort of parent role. I’m trying to keep boundaries, but feel I’m just being a nag.

Any advice?

Thank you

[help86]

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[dnanon]

Hi, it sounds a bit like he has moved from one addiction to another i.e. First alcohol then cocaine. Also taking both is not a good combination as alcohol is a depressant and cocaine is a high. It also seems like he keeps pushing the boundaries and if you are not happy then you need to tell him. It may be that he has decreased his alcohol intake in order to take the cocaine. All I know is that with cocaine you have to nip it in the bud as one line once week or less soon becomes much more and then it becomes really difficult to stop. It doesn’t seem like your partner is admitting that he Has a problem and until he does that and he himself wants to stop there is very little you can do. If you read through some of the other posts on here about cocaine addiction you will get some useful information and advice. You take care.

[hox]

As DNAnon says you must nip it in the bud now before this ruins your life. Your partner says he hasn’t got a problem but taking cocaine in the first place is. ‘Nagging’ him won’t help, but he needs to know you want it to stop. Also he needs to want to stop. If he doesn’t I’m sorry but there is nothing you can do.

I wish you both well.

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