[sazjun]

Hi there, just after some advice.

My on/off boyfriend came round with his child sat night for a valentines meal. My children we’re also here.

Came in hyper but romantic and happy, later in the evening said he needed something from his car .

I was upstairs and from the window saw him preparing a line to snort in the car.

Questioned him, he said it was a mistake and he would throw it away etc.

I’ve known that in the past he had a problem with cocaine and he definently has a problem with alcohol.

But every time I ask him about any of it, he won’t give a straight answer , Denys etc

We are on/ off because he stays up all night then messages me abuse calling me a cheat , abusing my looks and then blocks me for days and worms his way back in.

He is so horrible at times and has a vicious tongue and my friend caught him on tinder

Which he denied , saying he was hacked etc

He sleeps all day , misses work and is always letting me and my kids down by cancelling etc

He says he needs to sleep as he is in pain / headaches etc

But has always denied having a problem with cocaine .

I should have realised earlier but I don’t have experience of drug abuse

I would question myself and think I did something to make him treat me bad and name call me etc

He has said I am worthless and no one would ever want me

I am boring and he puts me down saying what’s the point in seeing you

You will fall asleep by 11 and are boring

I make myself stay up all night till 4 am at the weekends just to please him

I really thought it was me , but the more I read on here

I think it is more he has a problem with cocaine

He is not talking to me again and I stay strong for ages and always let him back

It’s just heartbreaking because when he is good he is so good

[smarker]

You need to stand up for yourself and tell him straight. You sound like A lovely woman and really don’t deserve this. Maybe if you leave he will sort himself out but with you allowing him back all the time he is doesn’t see no problems with his actions.Xx

[smh1987]

Hi Sazjun, how are you doing?? Our stories are very similar, my relationship has also been very on/off, minus the verbal outbursts but he ups abs leaves doesn’t speak to me for weeks, how often is your partner doing cocaine? If he is out doing it in the car in a few minutes break away he could be doing it quite a bit more than you think and that’s not me trying to upset you at all it’s just the harsh truth unfortunately this drug grips good people and they turn into strangers! You sound lovely and a bit lost and believe me I know that feeling all too well!! Sending you lots of support your way! It’s tough going through this but your not alone! Stand up to him and be a strong woman we got this more than we know! Don’t let him work back in till you know he is on the right track or it will continue to happen, mine hasn’t come back yet and that was 6 weeks ago, he has done this like I say quite a number of times and each time I take him back thinking this is surely the last time! I do it because I love him and see the good in him but have to ask yourself sometimes do they see all the good in us…answer is no most of the time! Or they do but the drugs do not let them admit it till rock bottom has struck!

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