[diana26]

Hi I’m new to all this, but I have scoured the internet looking for help and advice on how to live with an alcoholic and think a chat like this might help with other people who understand me…

I have been with my partner for 5 years now and living together for 3 and a half and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to live with his alcohol abuse. When I first met him he was a bad binge drinker but at the time I was single and young so liked a good drink at the weekend also but that was my limit as I work full time Monday to Friday. He had also come out of a long relationship where a kid was born and the ex stopped all contact to his child due to his drinking. I came to learn that throughout his childhood he was brought up surrounded by drink and his mother and sister still like a good drink to this day. As the years have passed his drinking comes and goes and some times can be for days on end and he disappears with friends for at least 1-2 days with no contact and at its worst been up to 4 days. I helped him get into work which seemed to calm him down.a bit but for a while worked with friends which in turn made him drink on the job and on lunch breaks. He has now had an injury to his finger on the building site so cant work for nearly 6 weeks and due to this virus. I have seen a rise in his drinking again. He seems to reach for booze any time anyone in his life passes or if we even have a daft argument he needs a drink or could be having a bad day at work and he comes home smelling of booze. I cant even trust him to go visit a friend caus it always results in him drinking. He still currently has no access to his child as he has failed 2 hair sample tests for his drink levels.

Any advice would really help me just to get this off my chest and speak to people who understand what im going through…I live in fear most days from the minute I wake as I think is he going to drink again today and he has started to become a bit angry and aggressive with his tone wen he drinks now. I love him so its hard to walk away but how do I help someone who cant even admit they have a drink problem?? He thinks as he doesn’t drink every day and that when he is working hes at work all the time that he doesn’t have a problem but hes not far off every day it has even become a habit of drinking more during the week now than the weekend! I find myself in tears and crying myself to sleep most nights and we now have slept in separate rooms for over a week.

Please help! Thank you!

[drlawgirl]

I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband used to be the same way – just a binge drinker, every few weeks. Now it’s become 2-3 times a week, and usually all night and then all day the next day. It’s become worse as a result of this lockdown as he’s ‘working’ from home and so think it’s okay to now drink whilst working. It is so frustrating. He is honestly the most amazing husband when he’s not drinking so it’s so hard to leave. Plus we have a little one and half year old, and I don’t want to take away his father. But I cry myself to sleep too. And it just seems to be getting worse, and he thinks since he’s only drinking a few times a week, it’s also not a problem. I don’t know what to do to get him to open his eyes to how it’s becoming a bigger problem. I don’t know whether to be supportive and kind, or to cut my losses and move on.

[lou398]

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[karen1972]

I understand completely, my husband is the kindest man when he’s sober , however when he’s drunk he’s a complete pig , nasty with his words and tends to get a little handy , his family don’t help as they like a drink and don’t seem a problem with his drinking , so the way I cope is I no longer talk with him when he’s drunk , I just busy myself ,go walking spend time in the garden , and when he’s sober and ready to talk , I just tell him how scared I am when he’s drunk and foe a few weeks he’s sober , I mean I have no idea how to cope with it all ,its just getting easier to leave , but then I talk myself out of it as its a scary prospect . Best advice I can give is always make sure your sage and never argue when there drunk ,find a happy place for 10 mins to keep your sanity .

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