[lucy87]

Thanks for reading.

I’m trying to figure out what to do with my partner who has an alcohol problem, the question is whether to leave or not, I feel like I know the answer but would be great to hear others experiences

We live together and have two young children. My partner isn’t abusive, he contributes a lot around the house and is great with our boys, he works long hours , I guess you could say he is (at times) a functioning alcoholic

We have been going round in circles for years with his drinking, when it will gradually build to a point where he is drinking 1/2 – 3/4 litre of spirits an evening alongside wine then will have a break for a week or two when he starts to feel really low and suicidal( he’s never attempted to end his own life but says he thinks about it a lot) then cuts down maybe just a couple of ciders of bottle of wine a night before the cycle starts again.

It sounds harsh but I’m totally fed up with it, he can easily spend 400-500 a month on alcoho( more when he’s in a really bad place or if he’s going out drinking too) he also smokes 20 a day coming in at another £360 ish a month.

He’s in a load of debt ( 30k!!!!) iv been earning less ( including two periods of maternity leave) and been having two cover more than my share and lend him money because his is gone. His health is crap, always feeling Ill tired

He can’t seem to get it together for me or our boys, yes I knew he liked a drink when we got together but I hoped ( naively and stupidly I know) that things would get better

I am now in debt too due to having to spend on Christmas, birthdays, food shopping etc as he never has any money

I feel like I’m done. We had a blow up a couple weeks ago as he had bought two litre bottles of vodka in the week and I was really pissed off. He basically said I wasn’t supporting him enough, wasn’t there for him enough, wasn’t saying to him ‘ please don’t drink darling!!!!’ Obviously it’s all my fault. We have a one year old, 3 year old and I am exhausted with doing their bed time routine, feeding during the night then working 28.5 hours a week as a nurse, yet I’m supposed to

I just feel like my financial future and that of our children is being trashed because of his habit that we doesn’t change

When things were particularly bad during lockdown and he was on one of his lows I persuaded him to contact our alcohol device, he spoke with a worker for a while, they supported him with reducing but he only ever engaged on a superficial level ( I feel) . I feel like he is somebody who will never be able to have a couple of drinks and that he will need to give it up if he is ever to break free. I don’t think this is on his radar though, his family and friends are all fairly frequent and at times heavy drinkers.

Has anybody been in a similar situation, I guess I just need some one to say no your not being a bitch, I feel bad as he’s not abusive and otherwise a good guy but I just feel we are in totally different wave lengths with were we are in life and were we want to go

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