[brasras]

he is drug addict for many years and refuses all help he gets. we is very lucky to have that many but does not use . i guess it all started from ”innocent” extasy tablets in the clubs and parties…as years were passing by the drugs got more seriuos…extasy followed by cocaine… most of the friends did this…it was so cool to him…but not at all for me and our relationship…era of cocaine was followed by crack and heroin. situation was getting worse and worse…i tried to make him see this but each time he would find a reason and best solution to the problems to smoke it.

we moved to a different place, wrong people disappeared … he is a very easy going person and he found new ones…much worse so called friends…he would make friends everywhere – from a complete stranger to a police officer who stopped him for drinking and driving…he is a hard worker…very smart…very kind…always trying to help everybody but himself…it came to a point where he would miss a day of work a month followed by one day a week…simply he was not feeling fit for work due to exhaustion because he would not sleep for days and lack of food. always smoking, drinking and disappearing at nights. he went to a therapist…i went there too as it was suggested for me as a help, which was a good thing to do for myself! but it did not work..

i am not getting much help around the house…i went to do shopping . when i came back and opened the door he was laying on the ground in the doorway of back yard…he was unconscious..skin purple…i panicked…tried to call his name-he would not respond…tried to wake him up without any luck…went to find my phone to call for help and he opened his eyes…checked his pulse it was there…made him lay on the one side …after a bit he woke up making this weird sound as he would be in agony…i asked if he is ok, if he needs anything, should i call ambulance…he said no..helped him to go on the sofa …he asked for water…it all stabilised and i am watching him all the time , he is back to his normal skin colour…sleeping for few hours now…

i realy hope this is one and last time when i have to go through this…i wish him find strength to say no to all bad things he is going through…and especially people who are calling themselves friends, mates and bros..etc…this is not cool anymore…it breaks my heart everytime he gives up…it kills me…our relationship is nothing like it was…but still i want yo help him..i came to this country to find a better life but instead i found this hard lesson…i wanted to give up helping for so many times but i continued to be next to him…i love him…and he loves me…we are 13 years living together..i want to help him but i dont know how when he does not cope with it….

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